A Lonely September
by Falling.Twilight
Summary: When Edward and Bella embark to Wilmington, South Carolina, on 1786, things cannot be the same for them ever again. Can true love win over right and wrong? AUxExB. More Details Inside. Last And Final Chapter Up!: You And Me, Me And You... Us.
1. AN's Prologue

**Ladies & Gentlemen,**

**I am proud to present my newest FF creation:**

**_A Lonely September._**

**Here, I tell a story about our favourite Twilight characters,  
A story about _love_,  
A story about _happiness_ in life  
But also about misery and _loss_.**

**In this Alternate Universe,  
Bella and Edward embark on a trip to Wilmington, South Carolina  
To visit Bella's cousin Angela and her baby,  
on _1786_.**

**Edward, raised in the fancy life of the high society members,  
and involved in the arranged marriage to Rosalie,  
Will find himself more and more intrigued by this shy girl from the town...  
Everyone has their dark secrets,  
And as the mysteries unfold,  
There is only one question left to answer:  
Edward and Isabella be?**

**Based on the song A Lonely September, by _Plain White T's,_  
You will encounter chapters with songs -  
That is to say,  
the chapters will have more meaning and emotion if you read them with the mentioned Background Music.**

**With this said,  
I invite you to proceed to the Prologue,  
And enjoy.**


	2. Prologue

**Yes, the AN was quite cheesy, but there is something called appealing the reader. **

**PROLOGUE**

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The room was in shadows and there was no sign of movement _that could indicate he was there, inside, sitting on a chair, staring through the window at the dark, cold sky. Snow slowly started to fall, covering the grass and naked trees with a soft, white mantle, and the wind sang its lonesome lullaby to the sleeping animals, who comfortably hugged their babies to keep the warmth… And he was there, silent, thinking about right and wrong, his mind bearing all the happy memories of the last months... That happiness, which had been cut off so suddenly…What was the good, the right thing to do, he didn't know, because he had been led to believe that good was where he was now, that he was already doing the best for everyone… Yet, was he doing the best thing for himself? The burden he carried on his back, that image of her quietly leaving the grounds with a thin cloak as the only protection against the chilly air, tears rolling down her cheeks – that image hurt him in the deepest of his heart… She was out there all alone, defenseless against the wild claws of nature... This wasn't the best for neither of them, but it was right, how everything was meant to be… And still he couldn't live with that choice…_

'_I love you, Edward,' she used to say in his ear, murmuring the words with her pink, warm lips… 'I will always love you, no matter what happens.'_

_He was betraying her…And that was the one thing that would definitely kill him in the insides…_

'_Bella…' he whispered in the darkness and touched the frozen glass with his fingertips._

_And he could have sworn that she was on the other side of the window, smiling at him with her rosy cheeks and her eyes filled with joy, as if promising to him that everything would be alright.

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**I suggest you read the lyrics for A Lonely September, by Plain White T's, and listen to the song so as to get an idea of where the story will go.**

**Au revoir :3**

**PS: "Au Revoir" means REVIEW.**

**PPS: No, just kidding. But it really sounds like that, doesn't it?**


	3. Feeling Concerned?

**Here I am, studying for Biology and uploading. I have the first four chapters already written, but I do not want to post them too close to each other. They contain lengthy descriptions of feelings and makes it actually quite boring.  
But well, the action isn't here yet, so what the heck. I hope you like - and understand - the story format. **

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_Dear Mother,_

_It has been a quiet week until now. I just got news that my friend Alice is getting married in a few months' time, and I am terribly glad. Her enthusiasm floats in the air and fills everyone with joy. I cannot help smiling every time I'm with her! I can sense Jasper is happy too, although he is quite a reserved young man, and I do not see him as much. He and the rest of the men in the house are so busy with talking of war that they do not seem to notice much what surrounds them. Alice's brother's marriage is drawing near too, but he does not react to it. I guess he already feels married to Rosalie; after all, their marriage was scheduled when they were only children, as far as I know.  
__Father is fine, but he got himself a terrible cold last week and spends the day in bed. I hate having to leave him alone like this, but I really do need to go to Alice's to help with wedding arrangements. She has told me I will be her maid of honor!_

_With love, Bella._

'I hope I am not making you late,' Edward said with a smile, and Alice rolled her eyes impatiently.

'You know perfectly well that this war you all talk about does not concern me,' she replied raising her eyebrows, 'Now if you are done with your little speech, can I go? I _do_ need to meet Bella right now.'

Edward sighed ironically. 'Poor Bella… I can assure you that when this wedding is over, she will stop visiting.'

'She will stop visiting _here_ because Jasper and I will _move_,' Alice said as she left the room quickly. 'I do not think I can stand another day with you.'

The young man laughed, and then sighed again, staring through the window. Winter was announcing itself loudly, with the once blue sky now permanently gray and the trees shedding their leaves swiftly and gracefully. He did not know if to be happy or concerned. The coming war was making all of them restless and nervous, and yet the happy news about his sister's marriage almost shouted at him that these were times of joy. So in the end, he had chosen to show the rest of his family a wide smile and keep his worries to those times he was all alone.

A gentle knock on the door made him turn around to see Esme smiling gently at him.

'Edward…' she whispered, shaking her head slowly, 'What has you so silent?'

She walked to him and, with a mother's love, tried to flatten his hair, but gave up after some seconds.

'It's the war, is it not?' Esme asked softly.

Edward nodded.

'Edward, everything will be fine,' she said, grabbing his face between her hands, 'Times _will_ be harsh, but we'll be okay. We will all go through this together as a family, and nothing will be able to harm us.'

The boy didn't meet her gaze. He was not as sure as his mother, but he could not tell her this. She had always been so positive…

'Yes, Esme, I know,' he whispered, trying to sound convinced.

Esme's smile widened.

'Good,' her tone lightened, more cheerful now, 'Now be a good brother and help your sister's fiancée with his things. He's very… nervous. Go.'

She patted Edward's shoulder and he left the room quietly, heading to the main hall. As soon as he started walking down the stairs, there was a knock on the large, white door, and he hurried to open it.

A girl of around his age was standing outside, gazing at the distant trees with her big, brown eyes. Her dress was not as expensive or attractive as his family's, but was a little more humble and it matched her personality, that of a shy, quiet young woman. She turned around to see who had opened the door, and smiled timidly.

'Bella,' Edward greeted respectfully, and stepped aside to let her in.

'Hello,' she replied in a low voice, walking into the large house with her head low. Edward closed the door behind her and narrowed his eyes. He had known her for approximately seven years and she was still reserved and quiet when around someone who was not Alice or Esme.

Bella turned her head to him. 'Do you know where I can find -?'

'Alice?' Edward finished for her, smiling gently, 'Of course, she is in her –'

'_Bella!_' a voice shrieked from up the main staircase, and Alice's little figure, with her dark, red dress floating behind her, was suddenly over Bella, with her arms around her friend's waist. 'I'm _so_ glad you came! I was just about to send you a letter or fetch you myself, because I'm starting with the guests list and I cannot make them all by myself and oh _come on!_'

Bella, now more relaxed with Alice's presence, laughed at her friend and followed her up the stairs, glancing at the boy furtively and disappearing through the left corridor.

Edward gazed at the empty hall. The house was silent, with his sister's laughter as the only sound that could be heard. And he felt lonely.

But now again, it had always been like that. A life of being pampered, of living amongst expensive things and high society parties, surrounded by elegant, refined people… He had grown accustomed to it, but for him, it had always been a solitaire life. Not even when his fiancée Rosalie had moved with his family he had felt better. Alice had been one of the luckiest – for her to end up in an arranged marriage where her future husband was the man she really loved. His case was different. He did _not_ dislike Rosalie; on the contrary, he found her very beautiful and charming. But there was something missing between them. Nothing bonding them together, except for their parent's arrangements.

He knew nothing better than that. That had been his whole life. Gatherings, war, and Rosalie. And because of that he had been so surprised when Alice had brought this quiet girl named Isabella Swan to their house, announcing that she was her new friend. Where they had met, he did not know. How they had met, he did not know either. He only knew that Alice had found a way to infiltrate into the common society and had, apparently, really liked it. Bella and her had become the greatest friends.

'Edward, what are you doing, standing there?' a voice asked behind him, bringing him back into reality. Rosalie was staring at him in concern, with her long, blond hair falling like a cascade behind her back and her hands holding her white dress.

He smiled at her. 'Just thinking,' he replied simply. Rosalie sighed.

'War again?' she said, shaking her head, 'Esme told me you were concerned. Please, Edward, forget about the war. There are more important things right now to think about…' a smile appeared in her face, 'like our wedding, for example.'

'Yes, it's true,' Edward whispered, turning around to her, 'but that won't happen for at least nine months, Rose.'

'But it's finally coming!' she exclaimed, 'After years and years of waiting… I've wanted this my whole life.'

'Your father wanted this your whole life, too,' he muttered darkly, and Rosalie suddenly frowned.

'Edward, I love you,' she said, offended.

He hesitated before replying, 'Yes, me too, Rosalie. Me too.'

He turned away from her and opened the door, leaving his fiancée inside the house, looking puzzled.

Had he lied? He did not know what love was like, but it was not what he felt towards Rosalie.

But after all… Was there anything he could do about it?

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**Sorry for the ones who despise long descriptions or monologues, but I had to explain how Edward feelt, since it is vital in the story. There will be a LOT of things which you will think unnecessary, but will be important in the story.**

**Now if you excuse me, I have a chapter 5 to write, which is VERY difficult since I have no idea about USA history and I _really_ need it in here.**

**Au revoir!**


	4. Happy News

**Sorry for the dialogue's randomness. But what the hell do_ I_ know what Alice and Edward talk about in their free time?! It's HARD to write. But I'm doing my best, I promise.**

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_Dear Mother,_

_Happy news keep coming! I received a letter from my cousin Angela and you will not believe this, Mother – she has a baby! He was born five months ago and she and Ben named him Henry. I can already imagine him, with his blond hair and pale eyes… Angela is so lucky. She finally has what she has always dreamed of and it fills me with joy. I will go visit her, parting from home this week. I do not know when I'll come back, because it is a long journey to her place. Father has given me permission to go, but I feel so uncomfortable when I think of leaving him behind… His cold is not getting any better, so I cannot take him with me to such a distant town.  
__I know I'll be back for Alice's wedding, it will not take me five months to go and come back. I will ask Jasper about it, but they have told me that it's a two-month journey to get there. It is worth it, though, is it not? After all, I will get to meet Little Henry!_

_With Love, __Bella._

'_We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!_'

Alice trotted from her room to Edward's, singing in a melodious voice as Edward laughed behind her.

'Shall I remind you Christmas is still a month and a half away?' he said, smiling. He sat down on his couch and gazed at her running from one place to the other.

'It is not necessary for it to be Christmas so I can sing this song,' she replied from inside her room, 'I can sing it whenever I want to.'

'And since when do you sing about Christmas in November?'

'Since I caught Bella singing _Jingle Bells_.'

Edward laughed quietly and said no more as his sister resumed her singing.

'… _the horse was lean and lank, misfortune seemed his lot –_ Edward, have you seen my quill?' Alice asked coming out of her father's study and standing in front of Edward with her hands at her hips, pursing her lips.

Edward raised his eyebrows. 'No, I have not. Isn't it in your room?'

'No, it isn't, and I'll kill myself if I can't find it!' Alice exclaimed, gazing at the room as if expecting it to see hanging from a wall. 'Bella gave it to me for my last birthday, and I really need it.'

'You can borrow mine,' Edward replied, standing up, but Alice started shaking her head.

'No, no, I need _mine_.'

'I will not even ask why you cannot use another one. Ask Bella if she has seen it.'

And as if having spoken her name aloud had made her appear out of thin air, Bella took a shy step into view, waving her hand to Alice.

'Um… The door was open,' she said apologetically, but Alice beamed.

'Bella! Have you seen my quill?' she asked, hurrying towards her.

'Yes, you left it at my place yesterday.' Bella held before her eyes a grey-silver quill, and the small girl shrieked in delight.

'This is wonderful!' she exclaimed, and shoved Bella aside to run to her room.

'Well thanks for that, Bella,' Edward smiled, 'She was going to drive me insane.'

Bella nodded. 'That's Alice.'

'Who's me?' Alice asked distractedly as she entered her brother's room again, holding a piece of parchment in her right hand and her quill in her left.

'Oh, Alice, I've got something to tell you!' Bella smiled suddenly, following her friend and finally standing beside the couch. Alice turned to her and raised one eyebrow. 'No, it's not private, so anywhere's fine, and –'

'Then tell!' Alice exclaimed, dropping her arms to her sides and staring intently.

'My cousin Angela has a son,' Bella said, beaming, 'and I'm going to visit her.'

Alice's smile vanished. 'What? When?'

'I'm parting this week, but I'll be back before it is your big day.'

'You'd better!' Alice frowned, but before she could say something else, Edward interrupted.

'Angela? Mrs Angela Webber Cheney?' he asked Bella, 'Wife of Ben Cheney?'

Bella seemed taken aback. 'Yes,' she answered, puzzled.

'What a coincidence,' Edward whispered, narrowing his eyes.

Bella glanced at Alice.

'Yes, definitely,' Edward said to himself now in a higher voice, and turned to the guest, smiling gently. 'Bella, would you allow me to accompany you in your journey?'

'Yes, allow him,' Alice said quickly, 'So you'll be back in time for my wedding.'

'Um – yes, I guess,' Bella answered, blushing deep red.

'I will ask Rosalie to come with us,' Edward stood up from his couch. 'I need to speak to Ben – perhaps _he_ can help us.'

'Help you what?' Alice asked as her brother walked out of the room. 'Edward?'

But he was gone, having ignored his sister's calls. Groaning, Alice turned to Bella and glared at her.

'Isabella Marie Swan,' she started, but Bella nodded, rolling her eyes.

'Yes, I know,' she interrupted, 'I'd better get here before your wedding day so I can be your maid of honor, or I'll be exiled for the rest of times. Happy?'

'Not quite, but I'll accept it,' Alice said, raising her eyebrows, and looking up at her friend with an air of superiority. Bella sighed. 'Now,' the small girl continued, beaming all of a sudden, 'we have some invitations to write!'

She grabbed her best friend by the hand and hurried out of the room, both girls laughing, not knowing what would soon happen.

'Rosalie?'

The blonde looked up from the book she was intently reading. 'Yes?'

Edward entered, gazing at her blue eyes. 'News have just arrived,' he said, serious.

'What news?' asked Rosalie, turning to her book again, clearly indifferent to what the young man had to say to her.

'Bella's cousin had a baby, and she's going to visit.' Despite himself, Edward smiled. It was just wonderful what had happened – that in the middle of the tension and uneasiness they were all experiencing, that in the midst of those dark times, growing darker and darker each day, something of that nature had happened. A birth was something to cherish now, something that could show all of them how bright life was despite the circumstances.

'That's wonderful, dear,' Rosalie replied, her eyes still fixed at the old pages of her book. Edward frowned. 'Is that what you wanted to tell me?'

'No, the news is that I would like to visit her cousin's husband Mr Ben Cheney – there are business we need to discuss. That is why I thought I could go with Bella, and I was wondering if you would like to come.'

Rosalie turned to him quickly.

'Go to Wilmington? With Isabella?' she asked incredulously, gasping in horror. 'Edward, I have a wedding to plan.'

'So you will not come?' he asked her. Rosalie held her chin high.

'And leave you alone with that girl? Edward, my father would never allow to – _your_ father would never –'

'My father knows Bella well, and trusts her,' he replied gently, trying to hide his dislike for his fiancée's attitude, 'And he trusts me. Rose…' he walked to her, kneeling on one knee and taking her hand. 'Rose, trust me. If you do not wish to come, I cannot make you do it. But it is necessary that I meet Mr Cheney, and this is the perfect opportunity. I can promise you that nothing will go wrong.'

Rosalie frowned and, slowly, removed her hand from his, taking it to her book.

'Fine, Edward,' she said dryly, 'Go. I'll stay here planning our wedding.'

'Rose, if this makes you uncomfortable –'

'But it doesn't. I trust you, Edward, and if you so desperately need to see Ben Cheney, then do. Do not worry about me.'

He smiled at her, and the woman, trying to hide her own smile, focused on the book again. Edward gazed at her for some moments before whispering, 'Thank you.'

Rosalie gave him a curt nod, without interrupting her reading, and Edward stood up again, ready to tell his sister's friend that the journey she was to take would not be a lonely one.

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**Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way! O what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!**

**I didn't know the song until the day I actually searched for it so that Alice could sing it. Here you have something so you can have a little fun! -I did, I swear-**

**the-north-pole (dot) com / carols / jinglebells (dot) html**

**HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! ... In 20 days.**


	5. The Trip Begins

**Did you ever had those days when you really want to study because studying is the best thing that happened in your life? Well, I'm definitely NOT experiencing that day.**

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_Dear Mother,_

_The strangest thing has happened! When I told Alice about my visit to Wilmington, her brother Edward asked me if it was fine with me if he accompanied me. Why, I couldn't say no! He did ask his fiancée to come with him, but she refused. Apparently, she needs to prepare the wedding. But imagine what people will say, Mother! A maiden like me, going on a trip with a man that will get married soon! I can already hear the whispering behind our backs, but Edward does not seem to care. I wonder if this will be a reason why I will be single for the rest of my life. Not that I care, of course._

_With Love, __Bella._

'… and I'll love you and I'll miss you and _you'd better get here by time or I'll chop your head off and give it to the wolves, understand me?_' Alice threatened to a laughing Bella as they hugged.

'I understand perfectly,' she replied, stroking her friend's black hair.

They were standing on the Cullen's doorstep, all of them, with the Hale twins present as well. Edward, whose mother was holding with passionate tenderness, was carrying a small travel case, and was smiling as if his absence would only last a few days.

'I will be home soon, Esme,' he whispered in her ear as she finally released him.

Esme nodded and pressed her lips together. 'I know. Goodbye, Edward, Bella.'

Bella smiled at her and the rest of her family, holding her thin cloak firmly. The coolness of the winter had not yet passed; on the contrary, people were starting to believe that this was only the beginning. A storm like no other was to come, and only the luckiest ones would be able to live through it, they said. This was worrisome for the young girl – her father was alone at his home, sick, armed against cold only with his daughter's instructions on how to cook hot food. Part of her did not want to visit Angela, but she could not stay safely inside her home while her cousin expected her with a baby in her arms. And it wasn't like her to do such a thing.

'Rosalie…' Edward took his fiancée's hand and kissed it. Rosalie did not smile at him, but her eyes told him she was not angry either. She was merely indifferent.

'Goodbye, Edward, Isabella,' Carlisle said, smiling at both of them. Edward noticed the girl beside him scowl for a fraction of a second.

'And you know –' Alice started again, but her brother and friend turned their backs to her, laughing quietly.

'If we're not back in time, you'll kill us,' they repeated as they walked away.

A small carriage waited for them at the gates, to which Bella frowned, uncomfortable. She was not used to lavish things; in fact, she preferred riding her snow-white mare and feel the wind on her face. _Well, you can always stick your head out of the window_, she thought gloomily as Edward helped her into the carriage. When both had sat down, Bella waved at her friend through the window, smiling – but somehow, she believed that this journey would have been better if she was not with Edward. His presence had always made her uncomfortable, and yet, she did not know why that was. Maybe it was his piercing, deep, green eyes, or perhaps his extraordinary beauty, or even his gentle manners, always placing others' needs before his.

It was a strange relationship, hers and Edward's.

Bella gazed out of the window, feeling his eyes on her. She could not be sure, but something on his silence told her she had blushed, and that he was amused by it.

'I noticed it,' he said after a while. The girl turned to him, her brown eyes wide.

'Noticed what?' she asked, dumbfounded.

'You do not like it,' he said with a crooked smile, 'That they call you Isabella.'

Bella relaxed. 'Oh. No, in fact, I do not. I prefer –'

'- Bella.'

'Yes.'

She lingered, searching in her head for something to say, but silence reigned again. Edward kept his green eyes on her, trying to identify the feelings behind the blushing skin. She did look unsure, hesitant, as if wondering whether this was right. And shy… like she always was whenever he was around. Her fingers tapped gracefully against her lap, sometimes stopping to stroke, unconsciously, the soft, white fabric. Her auburn hair was tied in a bun behind her head, but some loose locks had fallen, framing her face in a most gentle way. But Edward noticed her big, brown eyes flickering from one place to the other; his staring had made her quite self-conscious. Courteously, he moved his eyes to the white landscape.

'I do hope we arrive in time,' he said to start conversation, 'Alice's wrath is something I definitely do _not_ want to face.'

Bella smiled, still gazing out of the window. 'Definitely not.'

'You are lucky you do not have her twenty four hours beside you,' Edward raised his eyebrows.

'On the contrary,' Bella's smile widened, 'I wish I did. Alice is… my best friend. I love her. And she is the most extraordinary person I have ever met. As well as surprising. You never know what will happen next with her.'

'But…' Edward said, leaving the sentence incomplete so she would finish it. He knew Bella couldn't love _everything_ about his sister.

'But,' she laughed, 'she will throw a serious fit when she does not get her way. And a fit, coming from Alice…'

'Is something none of us would like to experience,' Edward laughed with her, agreeing. He had seen some of the worst fits his sister had ever thrown, and the memories were not pleasant.

'Yet Alice will be Alice,' Bella concluded, 'and I love her the way she is.'

'The way she is…' Edward whispered, narrowing his eyes and gazing at her, 'That is a lesson we should all learn.'

'Everybody learns it in time.'

For the first time in the short, quiet journey, Bella turned her eyes to his, and let them rest for some seconds before turning back to the window. Forgetting that she had been uncomfortable only some minutes ago, the young man's eyes once again analyzed her face, her expressions. They had only exchanged a few words, but already he felt fascinated with Bella Swan's thoughts.

This would be _some_ journey.

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**Sorry for the shortness, but what else could I write here?**

**Anyways, the blossoming love will continue on the next chapter - were Jacob Black finally appears!**

**Review? -doggyface-**


	6. In Paws Of A Wolf

**Sorry for the delay, but I want to write a chapter for each one I download - for your benefit - so DON'T complain :) Here goes a little bit of Jacob Black.**

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Dear Mother,_

_Everything is well. We've been traveling for around a week now, making stops every once in a while. I swear I even dream with that carriage. Edward has turned to be an interesting young man, but too polite and unselfish. I would have never thought someone like him could exist. He is always worried about me, and tries to do everything in his power so that I am comfortable. It's very nice of him, yet overwhelming. I still feel a little uncomfortable with him, even though he is good company. We talk about literature mostly. I cannot believe how much he knows about books! I thought men only read about war, that is, __if__ they read. But Edward is not like the rest of the men father wants to engage me with. He is… different. I had never noticed until now.  
__All I can say is Rosalie will surely have a sweet life with him._

_With Love, __Bella._

Edward watched with interest as Bella closed her little writing book and placed her quill into her little bag again. She gave a deep sigh and gazed at the window, as she did whenever she wasn't writing or talking to him.

'What is it that you write?' he asked her softly. For some reason he could not discover, her eyes filled with sudden sorrow as they turned to his.

'Letters,' she whispered. 'To my mother.'

Edward nodded, perceiving the grief that was now floating in the air. 'Does she live far away?'

Bella took a little time to answer his question. 'Yes,' she finally said hesitantly, looking down at her lap. Edward frowned.

'I apologize,' he said, meaning his words, 'for my prying. I should not have asked that, if it causes you sadness.'

'No, it's fine,' Bella quickly replied, shaking her head. 'We all ask questions about the things we are curious about. In that way, we all learn.'

'True once again.'

Edward gave her a faint smile. She looked tired. They had been traveling for some time now, making short stops in the way to eat and do whatever was necessary, but they slept inside the moving carriage, which made it difficult to rest. He had noticed Bella's unease at spending so much time in a closed space, so he had proposed to her that they made a stop in Salem and stay there for a few days. She had expressed her deep gratitude towards it, relieved that she would finally get some sleep and be able to enjoy fresh air for longer than two hours. He _had_ suggested traveling on horse if she was uncomfortable, but she had quickly rejected the idea, saying she was fine and it was just the nerves of visiting her cousin. It seemed to him she was just trying to prove that she could also belong in his type of life.

'Are you feeling alright?' Edward asked her. Bella nodded.

'It's… I had never been inside some place for such a long time. I'm not used to it.'

'Would you like to have a brief brake from the carriage? Stroll around?'

Bella glanced longingly at the window, but shook her head. 'No. At this pace we'll get delayed and… No, I prefer to keep going.'

'Bella, we have plenty of time ahead of us,' Edward complained, 'You are not feeling well. I am sure Angela will understand that.'

'But Alice won't.'

'Let _me_ handle my sister.'

The girl pressed her lips together.

'Please, Bella?' Edward pleaded; he hated to see her in such a state.

'Oh, fine,' Bella groaned, cursing herself for having succumbed to his power of persuasion.

Edward beamed at her and stuck his head out of the window, giving orders to the man leading the carriage. Two seconds had passed when it started to slow down, and finally stopped completely. Bella opened the door – in a state of desperation which she would later deny – and breathed deeply in and out. With delight, she gazed at the naked trees and the cold snow underneath the soles of her worn-out shoes; wherever she looked, a white, soft, wet layer covered what had once been green and brown. The sky, painted grey, was empty of life, as well as the snowy field surrounding her. As the chilly air filled her lungs joyfully, Edward got down of the carriage and stood behind her.

'We should continue on horse,' he said, smiling. 'It seems fresh air does you well.'

Bella didn't listen to him. Hugging herself in protection from the cold, she closed her eyes and smiled. Edward raised an eyebrow.

'I think we'd better get going,' he said uncertainly, waiting for the girl's reaction. Instantly, she wheeled around to face him.

'Please? A little longer?' she pleaded, using Edward's method of persuasion.

He laughed at her, happy to see her cheerful. 'As long as you like.'

Bella beamed and started wandering around. The lack of contact with nature had been killing her. She had grown up in a little farm in Phoenix, blissful with the animals sharing her home and the plants and trees overwhelming her garden. Since she had moved to Forks, flora and fauna – beside horses – were rarely seen, except for house plants, or the Cullen's enormous garden with bushes.

'When I was young, I had this beautiful brown bunny,' Bella told Edward as she touched a tree's bark lightly with her fingers, 'and it lived in a hole inside a tree. It had its own babies in there. They were all cute little things,' she laughed quietly. Edward smiled at her.

'What was its name?' he asked, approaching the girl.

'I can't remember well,' she whispered, gazing at the trunk, 'but I _think_ it was named Bun Bun.'

The young man couldn't help but laughing out loud. 'Bun Bun? Isn't that a name for a boy?'

'Why?' Bella defended her bunny, 'Sam can be used for either a boy or a girl. As well as Viola.'

'Viola?' he asked incredulously. 'That is strange.'

'Not really,' Bella replied, crossing her arms over her chest. 'If I lived in Russia and named my daughter Edward, it would not be strange.'

'How many Russian girls do _you_ know by the name of Edward?'

Bella frowned. 'There are many,' she avoided. Edward lifted an eyebrow. 'Name _one_.'

'Edward,' Bella quickly said, gazing behind him.

He laughed. 'Not the name, _who_ she is –'

'No, Edward, behind you.'

The man turned around slowly.

A reddish-brown wolf was standing a ten feet away from the humans, its ears straight, its body tense and alert. Its fur looked, even from the distance, silky and soft, with long hairs that could surely protect it perfectly from the winter's air.

'It's beautiful,' Bella whispered, not taking her eyes off it.

'I don't think this is the time to concentrate on _that_,' Edward murmured, focusing his attention on the wolf, and glancing at the carriage behind them. It was not far away, but if the wolf decided to attack, he was not completely sure what would happen. 'Bella…' he whispered, his green eyes on the animal, 'Bella… Back away slowly.'

He waited, but no response came to him. Worried he turned his face an inch to see the girl staring, wide-eyed, at the reddish wolf, and the animal staring back as intently as she was.

'Bella…' he repeated, now concerned that horror had made it impossible for her to move. 'Bella, _back away_.'

She finally reacted; glancing at him quickly, she gave an uncertain step backwards, and then another. The wolf did not move. Edward frowned – something was definitely wrong. He surveyed the animal another thorough look; in fact, the wolf did not look skinny, as most of the animals would at these moments where no animal would step out of their dens so as not to freeze to death. And it even looked _clean_, majestic, powerful, as if it were a king in this world.

He turned around to Bella, who was now walking to the carriage, facing the wolf, but with the feeling that it would not attack. Edward, feeling the same as his travel partner, started to follow her, his eyes fixed on the black, deep eyes that penetrated him.

Nothing happened.

Closing the carriage door, Bella hurried to draw the small curtains open to watch.

'That must have been the strangest thing that has ever happened to me,' Edward said, gazing at the animal, that was standing still on the snow like a statue.

'There was _something_ about it…' the girl whispered, narrowing her eyes, 'Something…'

'Human?' the young man suggested. Bella's eyes widened.

'Yes,' she replied quietly.

Edward nodded. 'Well, let's just hope this will not happen again. If we both die in the _paws_ of a wolf, I don't think Alice will forgive us.'

* * *

**YES, Jake will NOT be human in this story. Besides at the end of Eclipse he said he wanted to live wolfishly forever, so there you go. A wolf-Jacob :) And this is IMPORTANT in the story. So that's it :)**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**


	7. Salem

**Ready for some history lesson? THANKS A LOT TO WIKIPEDIA FOR THIS AND TO MY LITERATURE TEACHER :) I just wonder why I didn't study this _during_ the classes so I'd know better now.**

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_

_Dear Mother,_

_In some minutes we will be the town of Salem. Edward has told me it is very nice, but since I have never been there I cannot tell if I'll like it. I did hear something about witches when I was younger – perhaps it was on one of those stories you used to tell me so I would fall asleep. I miss them so much.  
__Edward has told me several stories on our journey so as to keep me entertained. Stories about the North, Greek legends, wars, and I feel so small beside him. He just seems to know everything about… everything. But there is something that is not right. I notice in the way he gazes out of the window, in the way he sighs, I notice in the way he smiles at my dumb remarks in between his stories. It's like he is filled with sorrow. Like he is miserable, unhappy. I dare not ask him, of course. But he is so lucky – smart, beautiful, has an astonishing bride and a wonderful family – I cannot seem to find what is missing in his life to make him feel that way.  
__Unless he keeps a dark secret._

_With Love, __Bella._

'We have arrived,' Edward's voice called softly in her ear. Bella turned around, to face the window. Small wooden houses had started to appear, snow covering them, and women with white poppets walking around the street, some talking to their husbands, others carrying baskets, with children in their cloaks running around or peering out of their home's windows to check whether it was snowing or not. It was very much like Forks, except for the garments and for the houses, which looked much cozier and warmer than the cold ones of their own town.

'It's very pretty,' Bella whispered.

Edward smiled. 'I knew you'd like it. I have noticed you tend to like these kinds of things rather than magnificent buildings and expensive furniture everywhere.'

The girl turned to him, surprised, but after a minute she shrugged. 'Well, I guess I _am_ very easy to understand.'

'You show your emotions very clearly,' Edward agreed. Smiling, Bella opened the carriage door and stepped out onto the frozen air and gasped in surprise. Inside the carriage, she had not realized how cold it was outside. 'Yes, it's cold,' Edward said, nodding, 'so let us not stay here more than we actually need to. There is a little place where we can stay for the night not far from here.'

Bella eyed the carriage and the man who led the horses on the front, who had just opened a bottle with a reddish liquid inside and taken a huge gulp at once. She certainly did not want to travel to the bar with him right now, and, seeing as Edward was offering to walk, they shared the same opinion.

The sky darkened as they walked quietly through the snow, watching their surroundings. Bella's cold fingers tightened around the edge of her cloak, but did not complain. She had nothing warmer than that, and for no reason she would make Edward think she was a whiney little girl; after all, he did not seem to be suffering from cold, with his proud pose, chin high, and impassive expression. The young man, however, did notice her small hand movement, but before he could utter a word, the girl opened her mouth to talk.

'Why?' she asked, gazing at a teenager who was hurriedly opening the door of her house to find her husband, a much older man with a haughty look. 'Why is everything so different here?'

Edward turned to her, eyebrows raised. 'Have you ever heard about the Puritans?'

Bella grimaced. 'It's somewhere in my memories. Are witch hunts and trials involved?'

'Somewhat,' he laughed. He took a deep breath before starting to explain. 'Around a hundred and seventy years ago, a religious persecution started in Europe, and the Puritans fled to England and the Netherlands, seeking –'

'But what _are_ the Puritans?'

'People,' Edward simply answered. Bella raised an eyebrow. 'Puritans sought purity of worship and doctrine, rejecting the Reformation of the Church of England, since they were Calvinistic Protestants.'

Bella stared at him blankly.

'In other words, they wanted to… change some aspects of the church.' Edward waited for some reaction from the girl, but she merely continued to stare at him. He sighed in exasperation. 'Bella, if you did not understand _that_ –'

'No, no, I was waiting for you to go on!' she hurried to say, blushing. Edward sighed again, but smiled.

'Well, let me explain it to you in a simpler way. Some of these Puritans set sail and came to America, arriving – accidentally, of course – at Cape Cod. During the last century, many immigrants landed here, but not all of them Puritans. The point is, they managed to establish autonomous North American colonies, like for example Massachusetts.'

'Massachussetts?' Bella asked, puzzled.

'Yes, Massachussetts,' Edward confirmed. 'Puritans believed that the Universe was God-centered, and we, men, had been rescued from damnation by the divine, and because of that we were bound by God's will, so they studied the Bible to understand better the universe God controlled.'

'Study the Bible?' Bella muttered, laughing, 'Good luck with _that_.'

Edward laughed with her, but added, 'They are beliefs, Bella. You cannot persuade them from not following what they think is correct.  
'Anyway, the now-American Puritans thought that they were destined to find a new Jerusalem – you know about Jerusalem, don't you? Good. They started to become harsh and rigorous, interpreting everything the Bible said _literally_, for it was the 'perfect word of God.' In that way, they began to impose religious uniformity and establish a purified church.'

'And how are the witch hunts involved in this?' the girl interrupted yet again, but now far more interested in the story, although half of Edward's words she had not understood.

Edward frowned mockingly at her. 'It seems you are not very interested in history,' he said, his lips cracking into a crooked smile. Bella shrugged.

'I am more into action and stories about the North,' she smiled.

The young man gazed at her. 'I see Alice has done her work on you.'

It was Bella who frowned this time in confusion, but before she could reply, Edward continued with his story.

'The witch trials,' he said quickly as the girl opened her mouth; she closed it again and glared at him. 'started because of a little incident towards the end of the seventeenth century. Two girls, Abigail Williams, and the reverend's daughter, Elizabeth Parris, began to have… strange behavior. They screamed and cursed while suffering from convulsions or trance-like states. Along with them, several other girls in Salem started to suffer from the same attacks, and as no one could explain what was happening to them, they had only one conclusion.'

'Satan,' Bella nodded. Edward's expression darkened.

'Exactly,' he whispered. 'After some time of finding no cure, the girls started to shout out the names of the souls inflicting them. All of them claimed to be innocent, but an accused slave, in fear of being hanged, admitted to having seen the Devil and that there was a witch conspiracy in Salem. After that, the girls started to accuse more and more people, some of whom, as Tituba the slave, admitted having practiced witchcraft. The girls were seen as divine, and they claimed to be acting on God's will. It ended with nineteen hangings _only_ in Salem, and hundreds of women, children, and men imprisoned, most of them innocent, if not all. The trials ended after some time, and exactly eighty years ago, a girl that had been amongst the accusers apologized publicly for her actions in sixteen ninety two.'

Edward turned to face Bella, who was walking silently by his side, her expression blank, gazing at the snow ahead of her.

'Bella?' he called, concerned.

The girl frowned. 'It must have been… horrible. For all those innocent people to die being innocent. Did not anyone realize what was really going on?'

'Bella, they were blinded by fear,' Edward smiled gently at her. 'It all happened very quickly, people accusing each other of witchcraft only for revenge or for their lands, and as many of them did not want to be hanged, they said that the Satan had made them sign their book. If, when suspected witches are on the loose, many of those suspects say there _are_, is there anything else for them to believe? And, after all, the Bible said there were real witches, if taken literally. And how could they defy God's word?'

'I just can't conceive – I mean – those girls, didn't they realize what was going on, or -?' Bella's voice trailed away in horror. Edward stopped walking and, softly, took Bella's hands between his, not showing his surprise when he felt they were icy cold. The girl didn't look at him, but stared fixedly at his feet, biting her lip.

'It's in the past, Bella,' he whispered. 'You cannot change what has already happened.'

She didn't reply.

'We must be happy,' Edward changed his tone to a lighter one, 'because they ended, otherwise you would be in prison accused of witchcraft.'

Bella looked up and smiled.

'Do I look like a witch?' she said playfully. Edward smiled.

'I do not think you are a witch, so you are safe with me.'

'Yes, that's what _we_ want you to think.'

She turned from him and resumed her walking through the town, happier than before. Edward gazed at her back for a second and then followed her.

'Now that I think of it,' he said, his crooked smile etched upon his face, 'you _are_ too strange to be a normal woman.'

'Careful, or I'll have to turn you into a toad,' Bella warned, but broke into a laugh. An old, wrinkled woman passing by turned her eyes to the girl, studying her face. 'You never know what a witch can do when she gets angry,' she continued teasing the young man.

'I see myself forced to serve you for a lifetime, then, if I do not wish to become a toad,' he laughed.

'I didn't mean to say that – but I'll take it.'

The old woman widened her eyes and walked away quickly, glancing back every once in a while. Bella frowned.

'I _think_ you are going to have to face a trial,' Edward said as he watched the woman trot away. Bella rolled her eyes.

'Come on, servant. I'm cold here and I really _do_ need to get some sleep.'

* * *

**Two things:**

**1) Read the Crucible by Arthur Miller. Excellent book.  
2) Watch the movie The Crucible, with Wynona Rider as Abigail Williams.**

**I take this opportunity to express my condolencies to all of you whose ancestors were lost during the With Trials, ie, all living descendants of Rebecca Nurse, the Proctors, etc.**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**

**PS: For my opinion on the Robert Pattinson Edward matter, go to my profile. Please. Read what I wrote. It's important.**


	8. Lonely

**Hello everyone :) I have to go and study -again- but tomorrow my studying is OVER! A few things before you continue reading the story:**

**1) There will be a long, long pause in the story during January because I am going on vacations. Most probably, if I don't fail tomorrow's Biology test, there WILL be another break in February because of more vacations. Terribly sorry for my passionate reviewers.**

**2) Several things that you guys (especially TwilightStarLaughter!) have been telling me:  
a) Just so everything is clear, no one here is a vampire. So Bella won't suddenly jump up with the idea while Edward is chopping wood in the forest or something. All humans :)  
b) Sorry for making Bella so reserved, but that is unchangeable. It's 1786 and women were more reserved, PLUS she is travelling with a man who is engaged to someone else and to which she feels attracted but at the same time, timid. However, you will notice that in the next few chapters there is more confidence between them, as time passes and they get to know each other better.  
c) Bella is in a lower class than the Cullens. To Beautifulgoodbye's question "Why is she Alice's maid of honour in her wedding if she's not in the same class," you WILL have answer. But not from me. From Bella :) And in laaater chapters. Just wait for a few more stops in their journey and for a few days in Wilmington and you'll have the answer you're seeking!**

**LOVE LOVE :D**

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Dear Mother,_

_Salem has turned out to be quite spooky, but on the whole, it is a nice town to visit. __If they don't tell you about the witch hunt stories. To think that these people that walk by my side are relatives of many who have been wrongly accused, or even hanged! How horrible they must feel about it. Edward told me about it the first day we got here, and there goes one more piece of history he knows and I don't. I feel like an ignorant beside him. But at least he is kind enough to teach me all these things. I knew that he was extremely kind from everything Alice ever told me about him, but I feel impressed now that I am experiencing it. Not only kind, but unselfish and considerate. And he does not lack humor, which I greatly appreciate. We all need a good laugh these dark days.  
__I wonder how dad is. I'm tempted to send a letter, but we are about to part from Salem and his reply will never get to me. I can only hope he is okay!_

_With Love, Bella._

'It was nice,' Edward said as he watched the town of Salem from the distance.

'But we need to go,' Bella added, 'and you need to get back inside the carriage or you'll freeze.'

'I am very resistant to cold, did you know?' he said, walking back to her and helping her step up into the carriage. Bella sat down with a sigh and a shiver.

'Well, _I_ am not, so we'd better get going,' she said while closing the carriage's door behind him. Edward sat opposite to her and watched her warm up her hands with her breath.

In the three days they had been at Salem, the weather had cooled. It had stopped snowing and, instead, a thin mantle of rain had began to fall, not thick or strong enough to get them soaked, but enough to make them tremble from head to toes every time they got out of the carriage. It was not much warmer inside, but at least they were guarded from the frozen air that lurked outside. And during those three days at Salem, Edward watched with increased preoccupation how Bella had begun to clutch desperately at the edges of her thin cloak, her face pale as the snow which she stepped on. He had tried to offer her his own coat, but she had refused vehemently, claiming that he would freeze and get a cold just when his wedding was about to come.

His wedding.

Another matter that made him uncomfortable.

Since their departure from Forks, Edward had been thinking it over and over again. For more than ten years he had never complained about his fate with Rosalie – after all, she was beautiful, mature, and good-natured. But now that he had got to know Bella better, he realized how shallow Rosalie was, how lacking of that spark the humble girl possessed… He reminded himself all the time that they were different types of women, that they could not be compared, but suddenly, he felt himself wonder if Rosalie was what he really wanted… No, perhaps she wasn't. But his say did not count on the matter. Their parents had wanted this, and, after all, it would not be as if he was going to be unhappy with her. Rosalie was civilized and would make a good wife, and – even though his mind kept contradicting him – that was what really mattered.

'Edward?' Bella asked quietly, frowning at her travel companion's silence. 'What's wrong?'

The young man turned to her and gave a deep sigh.

She had got used to his divagations and his long moments of gazing through the window with something strange glittering in his green eyes – which she had claimed to be sorrow – but her longing to know now made her break that stillness. It was, most probably, something private, but with just refusing to answer she would not bother him again.

'Too many things on my mind,' he replied simply. Bella nodded and turned away from him – if he did not want to reveal it to her, she would not press him. But only a second passed when Edward faced her again, decided, and said, 'Bella, have you ever been all alone with no one around that can understand how you're feeling?'

The girl widened her eyes and felt herself blushing quickly. 'Er – um – I…'

'No, excuse me, that was very rude of me,' Edward hurried to say, waving his hands. He seemed to be anxious all of a sudden. 'What I mean to say is… have you ever felt… lonely?'

'Lonely?' Bella asked, confused. She thought about it for some moments and then answered slowly, 'Yes, I have. Lonely and… unhappy. But I always remember that there are people who love me. Edward, you're not telling me that _you_ feel lonely? There are plenty of people who care for you and are constantly worried about your welfare and –'

'No, no,' he interrupted, now lowering his voice and calming down. 'No, I meant… I meant Rosalie.'

Bella stared at him.

'Edward, I don't think we should talk about this.'

The young man looked up at her, and his deep, green eyes were so full of grief that her insides flinched. 'I need to,' he whispered softly. 'Bella, I…' The girl pressed her lips together and did not turn away from him as he hid his face behind his hands with a heavy sigh and then uncovered it. 'I have been thinking if… Rosalie and me… She is a very good person, and will be a very good wife, but…'

'But you're wondering if she is what your heart longs.'

Edward froze. 'How…?'

The girl gazed at the floor. 'Edward, I have lived my life with my heart as a guide. Everything I have done is what my heart wanted to do, except for those things I could not avoid. I understand.'

And even though her answer seemed sincere, Edward could not help but feeling that she, too, had been guarding a secret that she did not want to tell.

'But lonely?' Bella continued, unaware of the boy's thoughts. 'Listen, Edward. Esme, Alice, Carlisle, Rosalie, even Jasper, and all the countless friends of yours that I know not – they all love you. You have to remember that. Remember that you're not alone.'

'I don't...' the young man started to say, but he closed his mouth again. She would never understand. She had not lived the way he had.

'You have nothing to worry about, Edward,' she finished, giving him a small smile. He turned away from her and gazed at the snowy landscape surrounding them. It was useless. He had thought that perhaps Bella, who had that sympathy and understanding beyond imaginable, would see how unhappy he really was in that life of luxury and elegance.

What he did not know is that the girl understood his feelings more than he could conceive… But was determined to keep them away from him.

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**Sorry for the shortness, but the next one IS long :)**

**Oh, and I wanted to threaten you a bit because the reviews are decaying, REVIEW OR SUFFER MY WRATH!**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**


	9. Discovery

**WARNING! Long paragraph lying ahead of you. I hate reading them, but I enjoy writing them, so just warning. BUT IT IS IMPORTANT.**

**To Jexena's last review, I can only reply this: I am a canon girl. So don't worry. Of course, that doesn't mean they'll EXACTLY end up together, buut...**

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_Dear Mother,_

_Christmas is coming in three weeks, and we are still missing half the distance we have already traveled. I had not imagined how far away Wilmington was! I hope we can spend the holidays with Angela, Ben and Little Henry. On our next stop – don't ask me where that is, Edward is the one who takes care of our stops and arranging times – I'll buy them gifts with the money I brought with me. It's not much, but I can manage something. And Edward too, though I am not really sure of what I can give him. I was thinking on a book, but he has read so much I won't be able to know if he has already read it! He has been most kind to me and he has made my journey pleasant, so not rewarding him with something is not an option. It seems I'll have to squeeze my brains to find something suitable for him._

_With Love, Bella._

'Welcome to Oklahoma City.'

The girl yawned widely and blinked several times before sitting up straight and peering out of the window. The sudden change of light made her vision be filled with a million black stars twinkling with their dark light, but after some seconds a large town appeared before her. The type of buildings was not very different from Forks', but the noticeable difference laid in the wide parks and naked trees that were now covered in snow. In spring, she imagined, Oklahoma City would be green everywhere you looked.

Edward smiled at the image of her gaping out of the window with her mouth half-open. 'I am really sorry, but we cannot stay long.'

Bella pouted. 'But I really like it. We could stay here for Christmas,' she added brightly, looking up at him with a wide smile on her face.

He raised an eyebrow.

'Okay, perhaps not.'

Edward laughed and gestured at the landscape behind the window.

'Admire it as much as you like,' he said, 'because we are not stopping here. We will go straight through the town and out again.'

'I don't think I can stand one more day in here,' Bella sighed, staring at her lap.

'It's not tiresome if you have something interesting to talk about,' Edward shrugged. 'But all you do is sleep.'

'Well then, tell me something interesting.'

Edward pressed his lips together. 'Something interesting? Well… Did you know that it was not Columbus who actually discovered America?'

'You already told me that story,' Bella said, rolling her eyes and stretching her back against the door, pained. She winced and added with a mischievous smile, 'Your entertaining skills are decaying.'

'If I cannot entertain you, it is because you've exhausted my skills,' Edward replied. 'So now it's your turn to entertain _me_.'

Bella scoffed. 'It's impossible. You know _everything_.'

'Try me.'

'Okay,' the girl sat down properly and leaned forwards, her hands crossed over her lap, 'Did you know that, according to a legend, the seventh son of a family will become a werewolf?'

'That's not a fact,' Edward said, 'That's a mere urban legend. Not true.'

'But it's entertaining!' Bella complained, 'Horror stories are perfect when someone is bored.'

'We're in the middle of a beautiful city and you want to fill me with scary stories,' Edward said as he rolled his eyes.

'Okay then. I'll tell you a happy story. How about one where my bunny Bun Bun meets a rabbit of the forest, they get married with little birds singing in their wedding, and live happily ever after?'

'Tell me how you and Alice met,' Edward demanded. He had always been intrigued by the fact that Alice had been able to contact the outside world – the world were people was not dressed in expensive clothing and lived humbly in their small, warm homes, eating what food they could manage to buy with their small wages.

'Seriously?' Bella asked, surprised, and when the boy nodded, she shrugged. 'Well… it was approximately ten years ago. Christmas was coming, and I had just moved into Forks with my father. So I went out to buy turkey when…'

Her voice trailed away. Edward, concerned, stared intently at her, but she did not look as if she would continue. Her brown eyes were gazing at the distance, sparkling in the dim light, and her eyebrows were curved in the slightest of frowns. All in all, she looked… heartbroken.

'Bella?' he called softly, reaching to grab her hand and realizing it was cold as ice. The girl didn't respond, but deepened her frown and looked down at her lap, biting her lip. 'I'm sorry. I did not mean to cause you any distress –'

'No, no, it's alright,' she interrupted softly, smiling again and looking up at him.

Edward frowned, still worried. 'Sorry. I really am.'

'It's not your fault, Edward,' Bella said, now increasingly exasperated, 'Stop blaming yourself for everything.'

The young man gazed at her avoiding eyes.

'Bella, I care about you,' he whispered in a strained voice.

For the briefest of moments, her eyes darted to meet his in alarm, but averted them to the window once again, blushing deep red. Edward's eyes did not leave her face until he realized she would not get better so quickly. He sighed and turned to the opposite window.

It was true; he cared about Bella enormously. During their long trip he had learnt how valuable she was, how different from the rest. She had that spark inside, different from Alice's and from Esme's – a kind of Bella spark, gentle, yet curious, reserved, yet humorous, mature, yet childish. She appreciated life in a way he could not, but maybe that was because he could not appreciate life in any way. At least, not when Bella was not around him. Whenever she left the carriage to do whatever she had to do, either her bare necessities of life or anything else, he felt strangely alone, and all the problems of his short life struck him like a lighting bolt, squarely in the chest. In a minute, the reminder that he was to be wed to Rosalie in some months had fallen over him, or the idea of the consequences of war in his town had created a million images in his head, all of them distressing and unhappy. But when Bella sat in front of him in the carriage, she illuminated the small place with her smile and her laughter, and lightened his mood with her silly jokes. For that reason he despised himself for making her think of those unpleasant memories in her past, he loathed himself for having made her eyes sparkle with tears, because he hated every little thing that made Bella miserable. If she knew how much he cared about her, she would have called him one thing: overprotective. But, knowing her as he now knew her, he was certain she would go beetroot with embarrassment and avoid his eyes.

Suddenly, he was disconcerted. He had never been so overprotective of somebody. It was true, he was overprotective with his mother and sister, but with Bella, this overprotection was larger and, in a way he could not understand, different. His feelings for Bella were not the same feelings he had for his sister, and not the same he had for Rosalie. He felt ready to jump in front of her to shield her from any harm.

And he did not know why.

Afraid of this new discovery, he concentrated again on the girl's feelings rather than his own, and saw, with satisfaction, that she was gaping at a shop on the other side of the street, her big, brown eyes filled bright with joy. He leaned forwards to watch what had made her change so suddenly, but the girl quickly pushed him back on to his seat.

'Stay there,' Bella said quickly, 'No, don't ask,' she added as he opened his mouth to formulate a question. 'Can you tell the driver to stop the carriage?'

Unsure, he did her that favor and watched with uneasiness how she opened the door and left the carriage, running with her small bag in her arms.

He waited for her, uncomfortable, not knowing what she was doing and if she was okay, but after what seemed like an eternity to him, she returned with a big smile on her face and her bag a little bigger than before. Relieved, he sighed.

'What happened?' he hurried to ask, frowning.

'Oh, nothing,' she said, shrugging, 'Just saw an old friend and wanted to say hi.'

'You're a terrible liar.'

'Is it that obvious?'

They both laughed, and after some minutes, still intrigued, he said, 'If you do not wish to tell me…'

'I do not.'

'… Then I'll have to force it out of you.'

'Edward, no!' Bella's eyes grew bigger in alarm and amused fear, 'No, no, no, please _don't_!'

During one cloudy afternoon, she had confessed to him her biggest weakness: tickles.

'Edward, please, no, I'm begging you,' she said as she backed up on her seat, the young man roaring with laughter. He would have not threatened her if she had been seriously begging him, but her lips twitched into involuntary smiles between her pleads, as if part of her were begging him to tickle her. 'Edward, _please?_'

Finally, he stopped laughing and smiled at her fondly. 'No tickles. I promise.'

She sighed and settled down. 'Good,' she said, relieved. 'Thank you.'

'But you still will not tell me what you just did in that place?'

'Who says I entered a shop?'

'I said place, not shop.'

'It's the same.'

'You just gave yourself away.'

'Did not.'

'Did so.'

'Did not!'

'This is childish.'

'I _am_ childish.'

'And stubborn. Will you please tell me?'

'Uh-uh.'

'No way?'

'No way.'

'A little hint?'

'Shush!'

And slowly, as the companions continued their blissful game, the grey Oklahoma sky darkened, calling its inhabitants to drift into sleep.

* * *

**Yeap, it seemed like a crappy chapter, didn't it? Well, there IS something VERY important in it, and yes, you have guessed, it is Bella's story of how she met Alice. Don't worry, you'll hear it. Not soon.**

**Now, IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**_The next chapter, "Stolen," is the first chapter with song included. And I don't mean Edward breaks out singing Stick To The Status Quo, I mean it has a background song you need to download. I mentioned this at the very beginning of the story. The song you'll need is Stolen by Dashboard Confessional, and it is marked as a Bella/Edward song in many fanmixes. Don't worry, it's GORGEOUS, as most Bella/Edward songs. You'll seriously need it!_**

**Now yes,**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**

**(I almost write Bella xD)**


	10. Stolen

**MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAAS!**

**It's Santa Time here at Argentina and because of that, here is my gift to YOU, Fanfictioners, ALS Reviewers, Friends, (etc.)!**

**The Next Chapter, Stolen,**

**With your background music "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional!**

**If you do NOT use the song, you'll find it quite boring, so USE IT!**

**Read SLOWLY, read aloud if you can't concentrate, and create the visual images and feelings in your mind!**

**SQUEEZE THE JUICE OUT OF THIS CHAPTER AND YOU WILL LOVE IT!**

**Sooo... PLAAY THE SOONG!**

**HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL, I LOVE YOU!**

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_

_Dear Mother,_

_Days fly away so quickly. We are nearing Wilmington and I'm terribly glad this journey is reaching its end. At least, the first part of the journey. Oh, Mother, I am having the best times of my life. Laughing with Edward is just so comforting and soothing… But there's worry growing inside me, Mother. It concerns me that I enjoy so much spending time with Edward. And I cannot avoid it, since we're trapped in this carriage. I guess when all of this is over, he'll be able to go back to his normal life with Rosalie, and I'll be free of going back to Father. But for now... I hope everything turns out okay._

_With Love, Bella._

Edward turned to watch the girl readjust on the seat, her eyes closed with the slightest hint of a frown. She had been trying to fall asleep for over an hour now, and the young man had had fun watching her roll over to one side, then to the other, place her right hand under her face, then the left, then the right again… He had noticed her exhaustion even though she did nothing but sit and stare out of the window the whole day, but she refused to go to sleep, claiming that that would make her the dullest companion. Finally, he had convinced her to get some rest, and now she lied there before his eyes, trying to enter the land of dreams…

He quickly averted his eyes off her angelic face, suddenly aware of her proximity. Under the white dress, her legs gently brushed his unconsciously, and he felt a shiver travel down his back that, he was certain, had absolutely nothing to do with the chillness of the air surrounding them. Her pale fingers clutched the edges of her cloak desperately, trying to guard herself from the cold with no success, and Edward frowned; watching her sleep made him realize how fragile and delicate she was underneath that mask of energy and vivacity she wore during the day…

Her lips parted and murmured words he could not hear, and he remembered what she had once told him about her talking during her sleep. Governed by the sudden temptation to hear her voice, he leaned forwards and neared his face to hers, feeling her cold, sweet-smelling breath. They were only an inch away, but there was a feeling inside him that yearned for more, and he resisted, confused by this new stream of emotions of desire and longing…

Then her lips parted again and she murmured one single word, that, even though it was barely louder than a whisper, pounded in his ears and left him breathless for the longest of seconds – so long, that time seemed to stop.

And when it resumed its pace, it came back with a feeling stronger than any he had felt before, a feeling of craving combined with something that words could not describe, something that, for the first time in his life, dwelled inside him and longed to burst out of him; a feeling that screamed at him to cover the small space left between the two of them.

Hastily, he straightened up and turned his bright green eyes away from her being, dazzled by this unexpected event. Never before in his life had he experienced something of that sort, and, strange as it seemed, he liked it. He liked how it felt.

He did not know what it was. He did not know if this would damage his future life with Rosalie. He knew, now, that he knew nothing at all. But for the time being, he contented with one simple answer to all his queries: he would eventually find out, and that was enough for him.

He looked back at the sleeping girl with tenderness. Silently, he took his own jacket and delicately placed it over her; in an instant, her face softened and, instead of the previous frown, the ghost of a smile surfaced.

Rubbing his eyes with his hand and finally realizing that he, too, was tremendously tired, he turned to gaze out of the window once again, pleased that she no longer suffered from cold.

He could have sworn, as the carriage swiftly moved through the gray forest, that he saw a reddish wolf sitting down over the snow, watching them go by.

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**Short but SWEET :)**

**GOD REST YE, MERRY HIPPOGRIFFS!**

**With Love, Joy, Tenderness, and Incredible Cheerfulness or Whatever It's Written Like,**

**ME :3**


	11. Angela

**My dearest, most awesome reviewers,**

**This will be the last chapter for a long time. I am going on holidays -tomorrow, if weather's good- so I will not be able to write.**

**That is why I am such a bitch to leave you in the best chapters.**

**I hope -if weather's NOT good- that I can write a little more tomorrow. I don't promise anything, though.**

**With Sincere Love,**

**Me :3**

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_Dear Mother,_

_Time flies past me! Christmas is only three days away from now, and I'm so nervous! Edward tells me we'll be arriving at Wilmington sometime between today and tomorrow, but if we are lucky we'll get to see Angela in a matter of hours. I'm so excited with the prospect of seeing little Henry for the first time, and Angela, and Ben… I have not seen them since I moved with Father from Phoenix.  
__I hope I can control my nerves!_

_With Love, _

'Bella?'

The girl's eyelids fluttered open, and she jumped back involuntarily as she met two deep, sparkling green eyes a few inches away from her face. Edward sat straight again and frowned.

'Sorry, I did not mean to wake you that way,' he apologized, and Bella shook her head sleepily.

'It's alright,' she sighed as she stretched her arms slowly, 'I'm a bit jumpy lately.'

'I have realized.'

There was a little, crooked smile on Edward's face, and he was staring at the girl as if there was some inside joke she was missing. She narrowed her eyes.

'What is it?' she asked. Edward raised an eyebrow. 'What is going on? Why are you looking at me in that way? Edward?'

But the boy merely chuckled, and suddenly comprehension hit Bella squarely in the face.

The carriage was not moving. They were still in the snow, and, through the window next to Bella, a small hill could be seen as a background, surrounded by a naked forest of scattered trees, and, in the middle of the scenery, a wooden cottage with a smoking chimney that looked incredibly warm and cozy.

Bella's heart seemed to skip several beats.

'We're here?' she whispered, her mouth half open.

Edward smiled. 'Why are you so surprised? I told you that with luck, we –'

'Where's the sea?'

The young man frowned. 'You told me where Angela lived, Bella. I supposed you'd know she lived in the other side of Wilmington. _Away_ from the sea.'

Bella pouted. 'How sad.'

'Are you ready?' Edward asked her, and the girl nodded. Hence, he opened the carriage door and stepped out into the frozen air, and turning around to help Bella follow him. They were both surprised to see that the snow covered their whole feet and a little above them; it wouldn't be long until they could barely walk through it.

The cottage's door opened, and a tall girl walked out, beaming from ear to ear. In her arms, a little bundle moved restlessly from side to side.

'Bella!' she called, and the brunette hurried to embrace her. Her blond friend received the hug with one arm, since the other one was occupied in holding the baby.

'Oh, Angela, I'm so glad to see you,' Bella said when she finally took a step backwards. She turned to the baby wrapped in mantles and smiled gently. 'Hello, little Henry,' she whispered, leaning over him; his eyes were as light as his mothers'.

Angela cleared her throat as she glanced at the young man standing still in the snow, gazing up at the scene, and Bella gave a little jump.

'Oh! Angela, this is Edward Cullen,' she said, gesturing towards her companion and eyeing her cousin to watch her reaction. Angela's eyes widened a little. 'I told you in my letter that he would be accompanying me in the journey. He needs to talk to Ben.'

Edward bowed at his travel partner's friend. 'It is a great pleasure to meet you,' he said, staring deep into Angela's eyes with his sparkling emerald ones. She blushed and gave him a small, shy smile.

'It's nice to meet you too,' she said, and turned to Bella with a meaningful look. The brunette rolled her eyes, knowing what had just crossed her cousin's mind.

Inside the blankets, little Henry moaned, and Angela turned to him quickly.

'Let's go inside before we freeze to death,' she said, waiting for her guests to walk inside the cottage before attempting to follow them (Edward insisted that she entered first), 'and _please_, feel at home.'

Bella looked around. The little cottage was really warm compared to the air outside, with a welcoming fire crackling in the fireplace. Two sofas were arranged around it, separated by a small, wooden table that didn't even make it to Bella's knee. But before she had time to make herself comfortable, there was a loud creak coming from the stairs and she turned to see an older version of little Henry, but with almond eyes, hurrying to the new arrivals.

'Long time, no see!' Ben Cheney laughed as he embraced Bella.

Edward shook hands with the man. 'I suppose you can imagine why I am here, Mr Cheney?' he asked as both girls – plus the baby – walked to the fireplace.

Ben nodded. 'Maybe you would like to discuss the matter in another place?' He gestured at the silent women.

'No, let us not ruin the moment,' Edward smiled at Bella, who smiled back with no shyness. 'Perhaps we can let the girls do the talking while the men take a stroll around the place?'

'Ladies,' Ben said, bowing at them with a mocking smile, and led Edward towards the back of the cottage. Angela followed them with her eyes until she was sure they were out of earshot. Then she quickly held Bella's hand, exclaiming, 'Oh, _Bella!_'

'I know,' Bella replied, smiling gently, 'It's been such a _long_ time.'

'Years,' Angela rolled her eyes, 'We were so young them.'

'And still are,' her cousin reminded her. Angela laughed, and then her lips formed a small, sad smile, her eyes analyzing Bella.

'How are you?' she asked softly, and Bella's eyes shot up in alarm. The girl was sure she was not talking about her current state of mind and body; her cousin was asking about an event from way back in time, an event that she was not sure how had been proceeded as regards her cousin…

Bella avoided Angela's gaze, staring fixedly at the middle of the wooden table.

'I'm fine.'

Angela frowned, but after some seconds, she nodded. If her cousin did not want to talk about it, then she would not press her.

The two of them sat there, now silently. Little Henry had fallen asleep in the middle of the brief talk, and now the sound of his deep breathing was the only sound in the room besides the crackling of the fire. When Bella sighed and rested her back on the couch, Angela tried to smile.

'So… Edward?' she said, narrowing her eyes, trying to attract Bella's attention to the current subject even though she was truly interested in the subject. Bella looked up again, more alarmed now than before.

'What about him?' she asked, so quickly that Angela's eyes sparkled with joy. She felt her face grow warmer and was sure that she was blushing. Definitely _not_ helpful.

'He's nice,' Angela said, concealing her curiousness and making her best to sound casual.

'He is a gentleman,' Bella replied diplomatically, 'A _real_ gentleman. And very, very bright.'

'I notice,' Angela nodded.

She stared at the brunette intently.

'Is he your fiancée or –?'

'_What?_' Bella interrupted, her eyes wide.

Angela shrugged. 'Well, he accompanied you in this long journey –'

'His sister told him to.'

'- and you don't have a chaperone.'

'I remind you I_ have_ no chaperone.'

The blond girl smiled gently.

'The way he looked at you just now, before he left…' she shook her head slowly. 'There's something about it. And the way you looked at _him_.'

'You know, Angela, there are this magical things called _eyes_, they are round and they allow people to –'

'I can sense you're in love.'

Bella's mouth opened. 'Angela, I have been here what, fifteen minutes? And you are already jumping to conclusions about the way I look at people…'

But Angela was not listening. She was shaking her head and gazing at her son, soundly asleep. 'Never mind, Bella. Forget I said anything about it.'

The brunette pursed her lips and looked away.

There was no way she was going to admit she was in love.

* * *

**If you've seen Hercules you'll know how Meg told herself she was not in love with Hercules - totally deceiving herself, of course. Kind of the same with Bella.**

**Just so you know - because I don't think this will be mentioned by any character - Angela and Ben _are_ from the high society. Just like Edward, unlike Bella. But it was Angela who decided to move from the crowded city and away from the sea to raise her child. Ben, a soldier and general or whatever that's called, agreed. And so they moved. Easy. You know how in the books Angela isn't the Rosalie type, so I decided it was not cool to make her live in a mansion. Something warm and cozy was best :)**

**Happy holidays to everyone plus me!**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**


	12. War & Wrong

**Finally back and glad to be so:) Sorry if I took too long to continue writing.**

**ALS is in its final stages, so start getting ready to say Goodbye - I am SO ready to do so. I'm getting really tired of this. Like always -rolls eyes-**

**And I'm ALSO tired of repeating how this is connected to the Twilight series besides the character names - if you didn't pay attention, I'm SORRY. End of it.**

**Now keep reading :)**

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_DearMother,_

_Yes! We are here! It took us __quite__ a while, but it was definitely worth it. It's been such a long time since I last saw Angela, and Ben was so small at that time too… Oh, and little Henry is simply beautiful. He is an exact copy of his father, except for his eyes. He's got Angela's light eyes. If I ever get married, I'd like to have a son like little Henry. Or a girl, whichever suits my husband well. And no, I don't have a husband yet, Mother, if you're wondering. I'm proudly single. But you might already know that. You might know everything that happens to me. Hence, you __might__ know I miss you terribly. And Father too, alone at our house. I hope that cold has been cured by now. Can a cold last a month and a half? What if I enter the house after I get back and get run over by a thousand rampaging, boogie-filled handkerchiefs?  
__I think I should write to him in advance, just so he can clean up a bit. And so that I don't die in a boogie attack._

_With Love, Bella._

'None of us like it better than you, Ben. But it's a risk we have to take.'

Ben frowned and gazed at the glass of wine in his hand. 'You know, Edward, we are all very concerned and afraid of what might happen. But… I just had a son. I have to think about that too.'

Edward's green eyes were dark and somber. 'Ben,' he said quietly, 'your son and wife are the best reason for you to help us out. You must protect them from the war.'

'Edward, think about it,' Ben looked up at him. 'If I get killed on the field, who is going to take care of Angie and Henry? You? I don't think so.'

'You are the best General I have seen,' Edward praised, speaking truthfully. 'If there is someone who can make us win this war, that is you. You run risks, of course. I run risks too. Everyone runs risks. Everyone has a chance to die.'

Ben didn't answer.

'I am not forcing you into this, Ben,' Edward said, 'I do not wish you to leave your family behind. Angela and Henry deserve a good life – with you. You know I would not ask this of you if it weren't terribly important.'

'You don't have a family, Edward,' Ben said quietly. 'You don't know how it feels like to leave them behind and not know if you will ever see them again. I've known war. I've been the war. I do not want to go through it again.'

Edward nodded. 'I do have a family, Ben. I may not have a wife yet, or a son. But I have my sister. I have my mother and father. I have my brother, who might never get to know what happened to me, because he will also be there, fighting by my side. I have Rosalie. And I have Bella.'

Ben raised an eyebrow at the last phrase.

'If you do not want to help me – us, I meant to say, the town of Forks, Olympia, Washington – then don't,' Edward continued, ignoring Ben's gesture. 'And I'm not trying to make you feel guilty by saying that. If I could, I would take the same path you are taking. But it is my people. My beloved ones. And I will fight for them. To protect them as much as I can. And if that means to sacrifice my life for them, then I will.'

'Even if you don't mean it, you _are_ making me feel guilty,' Ben smiled. Edward didn't return the smile.

'No, Ben, I am talking seriously. I understand you. You fear for your family. You want to be with your family when everything happens. And you _can_ stay. I wish _I_ could. Stay with Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Bells. I wish _I_ could be with them when the war unfolds. But I cannot. I will risk my life – for them.'

Ben sighed and placed his glass on the window sill. Edward stared at him intently, a gentle frown creasing his forehead. It was a hard decision, and he knew it – he had had to take it himself before Ben. But Ben, unlike him, had another choice.

'I need some time,' the dark-haired said in a hushed whisper. He turned around to face his guest with a hard look on his face. 'I need to think about it. You'll have my answer soon.'

Edward nodded and averted his eyes to the floor.

'Now it's my turn to ask you a question.'

Ben's expression had softened all of a sudden, and the ghost of a smile had appeared in his face. Edward frowned, wary.

'Edward… What is going with you and Miss Isabella Swan?'

Caught unawares, the young man raised his eyebrows and his lungs seemed to freeze. In an attempt to avoid the question, he said, 'She does not like to be called Isabella.'

'I know that,' Ben said, 'I've known her for a very long time. But that still does not answer my question.'

Edward cleared his throat and looked away.

'Please,' continued Ben, 'I have seen the way she looks at you. I have witnessed the tenderness in your eyes when you speak her name. I have noticed the gentleness with which you treat her. And I wonder… do you treat Rosalie in the same way?'

'Rosalie and Bella are two different kind of women,' Edward answered slowly, 'and so they should be treated differently.'

'Stop avoiding the main question. I am no one to judge you. You can confide in me.'

Edward bit his lower lip and took a step closer to the door. He opened it as slowly as he could, leaving it narrow enough so as not to be seen, but leaving it wide enough so as to be able to see the living room in the floor below. Bella and Angela were sitting on opposite couches, laughing together, while little Henry slept by his mother's side. Maybe it was a trick of his eyes, but the light from the crackling fire in the fireplace made Bella's hair shine with tones in brown, red, and even gold. Even from that distance, the softness of her skin was visible and irresistible when combined with the grace of her moves, and her smile, that smile that illuminated the whole room and could turn night into day…

'You cannot help it, Edward,' Ben said from behind him. 'Love is not something we can control.'

Edward gazed at the staircase with sadness. 'I can't. I have to think of Rosalie... I'm getting married, Ben.'

Ben nodded and stepped closer to him. 'That is exactly why I think you should do it. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone who you do not truly love… I'd make good use of the only time I have to be happy. This is your last chance to find that happiness, Edward. Enjoy it while you can. Because when you go back to Forks… It's all going to be over.'

Edward did not answer, and, after a long, deep sigh, Ben left the room, leaving his guest to ponder if happiness was worth doing the wrong thing. But if it made him the happiest man alive – then _was_ it wrong?

* * *

**Sorry if it was short. But the best chapter is coming now. So I'll make it up to you!**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**


	13. Letter

**Sorry for the waiting. But I was terribly uninspired. So now hold your breath! Because this - and the next - are going to be DA bomb!**

**IMPORTANT: For the _NEXT_ chapter you will need the song, "Write You A Song", by the Plain White T's. It _IS_ necessary if you want the chapter to have a great effect. Just telling you. So download now because the next chapter is already up.**

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_Dear Mother,_

_Happy Christmas. I love you and I miss you terribly._

_With Love, Bella._

'Oh, thank you, Ben!'

Angela's eyes sparkled with joy as she unwrapped her husband's Christmas present, a silver and gold necklace with a half-moon pendant. She leaned over to kiss him briefly on his lips and then turned to hug Bella.

'Happy Christmas, Bells,' she said.

Edward looked up at the embracing cousins. The blonde was hugging the brunette with overwhelming happiness. The other one, however, barely moved her arms to hug her back, as if she were tired, and her smile was small, very small, and – to Edward's surprise – sad.

'Happy Christmas, Ang,' Bella muttered. In her bliss, Angela did not notice her cousin's lack of interest in the gifts and the festivity, so she sat down beside her husband and threw her arms around his neck as she turned to Edward.

'Thank you for the book, Edward,' she smiled, 'and Happy Christmas to you too.'

Edward looked at her. 'I am glad you liked it,' he answered, smiling back, but quickly his green eyes focused on the only person in the room he wanted to see.

Bella had her back against all of them, facing the warm, crackling fire. Her white hands clutched to the edges of her cloak with unnecessary force, and her eyes had a vacant look as she gazed at the flames. The young man hesitantly took a step closer, and then back again. He desired more than anything to wish her a Happy Christmas and give her his gift before hugging her and holding her cold body against his chest. However, this did not look like the right time.

'I'll make some eggnog,' Angela beamed, standing up and hurrying to the kitchen. 'Henry will be hungry when he wakes up.'

Edward smiled in appreciation and nodded, then once again stared at the immobile figure. His gesture did not go unnoticed by Ben, who, after watching them for a couple of minutes, excused himself and left the room, muttering something about cutting more wood. Bella did not answer or move; she was lost in thought, unaware that there was still one person in the room, waiting for the right time to approach her.

It wasn't long after the beautiful, young man got impatient and worried. Slowly, quietly, he moved closer to Bella. Part of him wanted to console her, part of him wanted to know what had happened, part of him wanted to cheer her up and embrace her.

'Bella?'

She blinked.

'Are you alright?' Edward asked, desperately longing to touch her.

Bella didn't move as she spoke. 'I still haven't given you my gift.'

Her voice was barely audible and – to Edward's concern – broken. She looked up at him and he noticed, for the first time, that her big, brown eyes were wet.

'There's no need,' Edward whispered, frowning, 'Bella, what -?'

'Yes, there is,' Bella interrupted, and walked to the tall Christmas tree on the corner of the room. She grabbed a rectangular package and walked back to Edward. Her friend took it and, slowly, unwrapped it.

It was a small diary. Its leather cover was brown - the same brown that filled Bella's sad eyes, to Edward's pleasure.

'I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything better than that,' Bella mumbled, gazing at the diary, 'but I thought, maybe, when you're feeling… sad, or happy, or anything, you could just let your feelings flow away with words. On paper, I mean. When you feel alone. When you miss someone. Writing makes me feel better, so I hope it works for you too. This is what I bought in Oklahoma. I spent all of my money in it. And it wasn't expensive at all, mind you.'

The words came out of her mouth in a rush, precipitated, stumbling with one another. It was clear for Edward that she was holding back tears, trying to ignore the lump in her throat…

'Thank you,' he whispered. 'I really appreciate it. It's wonderful.'

Bella timidly raised her eyes and locked them in Edward's. He took a step closer.

'Bella, I…'

She did not move.

'I...'

Upstairs, the sound of a baby crying interrupted him. Angela burst into the living room and hurried to the stairs, calling, 'Don't cry, Henry, mama's going!'

Edward sighed and straightened, while Bella turned her eyes to the floor. He had been right there. Right where he had wanted to be for a long time. Now, what would happen next was unclear, impossible to know. He had given away his feelings, but had not been given the time to finish in a proper way – and that would make being with Bella an uncomfortable situation. He turned away from her and walked to the kitchen, where Ben was placing four cups of eggnog in a tray. When he saw Edward enter, he raised his eyebrows, but the guest ignored him and moved as closely to him as possible.

'You know what is wrong with Bella,' Edward accused him. Ben didn't answer. 'You did not even flinch when you realized she was about to cry. You ignored her. Which means you know what is wrong and do not want to get involved.'

The black-haired man sighed and turned his eyes away from Edward's.

'I need to know, Ben.'

Ben shook his head. 'I cannot be the one to tell you. It's her decision. I am not surprised she did not tell you. She barely speaks of it, and changes subject whenever she realizes where the conversation is going. You'll have to wait for her to be ready to speak openly about it.'

'I cannot – I cannot stand… seeing her in this way,' Edward whispered. 'She looks dead, Ben. It hurts me.'

'I'm sorry, Edward.'

'Well, little Henry is awake!' Angela announced as she entered the kitchen, her crying son in her arms, a silent Bella following her absently. The blonde stopped dead as she looked at the two men. 'God, you look so dull. What's wrong?'

There was a loud knock on the front door, and Angela groaned, exasperated. She turned to her cousin. 'Bella, please take Henry while I go see who it is – the air outside is too cold for him –'

And she left, leaving the kitchen in an uncomfortable, awkward silence, broken only by Henry's cries. A wave of frozen air told them that the front door had been opened, sending all of them chills down their spines. Ben pressed his lips together.

'Eggnog, anyone?' he offered, gesturing at the cups beside him, but Angela was back again. 'Eggnog, Angela?'

She did not answer. Her eyes were wide with horror and all the blood had drained away from her face. She was holding an envelope in her hands.

'Sweetie, what's wrong?' Ben asked, scared, but his wife ignored him and turned to Bella.

'It was the mailman,' she said softly. 'It's for you.'

As they exchanged the baby for the letter, Bella's eyes skimmed over the address, and soon enough she was even paler than she had already been. Her mouth opened and closed again. Only when she opened the envelope with a trembling hand did Edward realize what was wrong – there was a red cross beside the correspondent's address.

Suddenly, his full being seemed heavier than before. He watched with increased dread how tears fell down Bella's white cheeks and her breath trembled. Beside her, Angela had also started to cry. The moment never seemed to end until, finally, the girl sniffed loudly and let her arm drop by her side, still holding the letter. She gazed at the people surrounding her, as if she were lost, and then mumbled a soft, 'Excuse me.'

She turned around and left.

Ben walked slowly to Angela's side while Edward remained rooted on the spot, completely numb.

'Charlie?' Ben asked his wife in a whisper. Angela wiped away her tears with the back of her free hand.

'Who else?' she said. Ben closed his eyes, frowning with grief, and hugged her, little Henry complaining in between them.

Another wave of frozen air reached Edward's lungs. Bella had left the house.

* * *

**I'm sorry for that. But it was necessary.**

**Remember: "Write You A Song," by Plain White T's. YES, you KNOW what's coming! (that's why I posted two chapters together!)**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**


	14. The Right Choice

**Read at your pace. Play the song. Write You A Song. Plain White T's. **

**Enjoy...**

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'Bella!'

Edward opened the door in a hurry, forgetting that the air outside was completely arctic; his lungs froze as he inhaled, but he ignored this – finding Bella was his top priority.

Luckily, he did not have to look far. The crying girl was standing alone amongst the trees, her feet sunk in the snow, her back facing the cottage.

'Bella,' Edward whispered when he reached her, gasping for air. 'Bella… I am so sorry.'

The girl sniffed, but did not move.

'I… I do not know what to say,' he continued, staring intently at the back of her head, overwhelmed with grief, 'I have never lost a relative… at least not in this way. I can only sympathize.'

He waited for a response, but it never came.

'I'm sorry, Bella.'

She sniffed once again, and sighed. Edward was about to turn and leave and give her the privacy she surely longed to have, when she spoke.

'I was seven when it happened.'

Her voice sounded weary, dead.

'My mother got terribly sick and she… passed away. That is why Father and I moved to Forks. And that is how I met Alice. Christmas was near, and Father gave me money to buy a turkey. We both knew it would be the loneliest Christmas ever, but we were trying to do our best. So I went out, hoping to find what I had been asked to buy. But I was small and in a new, strange town. I got lost.' She laughed without a trace of happiness in her voice as Edward stared, absorbed, horrified. 'I walked the streets hoping to find my way home again. I didn't. And as the seven-year-old I was, I sat down and started to cry. I cried because I was lost. I cried because I longed for a mother that would take my hand and show me how to find my home. I cried because I missed my mother more than anything in this world.' She stopped abruptly. What seemed like an eternity passed, and finally she recovered her voice and the courage to go on. 'I don't know what it was. Maybe it was destiny. But what is certain is that I had chosen to sit down and cry right in front of your house. And Alice found me there, and she wiped away my tears and helped me go back to my father. And we've been best friends ever since that moment.'

Bella turned around and faced Edward, tears rolling down her cheeks. He gazed at her, heartbroken, and was amazed at how beautiful she was even in that state of misery and depression.

'It's my fault,' she whispered and pursed her lips in pain.

Edward shook his head. 'No,' he whispered.

'I left him alone and sick,' she continued, but Edward shushed her softly.

'It was not your fault, Bella. You loved him. This was… what was supposed to happen. There was nothing you could have done.'

Bella closed her eyes, living once again the suffering she had lived at the young age of seven. She leaned forwards to Edward and placed her head on his chest, sobbing. Edward surrounded her fragile body with his arms and dug his face in her sweet-smelling hair.

'I should have never come here,' she said between sobs. 'It's only brought sadness and disgrace –'

'Don't say that,' Edward said harshly, pulling her away from him so he could look straight into her eyes. 'Bella, that is not true. It's brought good things, too. In fact, it's brought the best thing that could have ever happened.'

Bella sniffed. 'And that is?'

Edward placed his hand on her cold cheek.

'It led me to you.'

The girl froze.

'Edward, I…'

'I don't care how many Rosalies are waiting for me back in Forks,' he continued, his voice gaining confidence with every word he said, 'and I don't care what happens after this. What really matters to me is my love for you, Bella. If you had chosen to stay put in Forks instead of coming here to visit your newborn nephew, perhaps I would have never get to know you as I know you now. And I would have married Rosalie without having found that happiness in life that you have given me. I love you, Bella, and I thank God for the birth of little Henry.'

And without thinking, he leaned forward and kissed her.

He had expected rejection, a negative response from her part, anything; what he had not expected was Bella to surround his neck with her arms and kiss him back with as much passion as he was kissing her. Their lips moved together in harmony, and Edward's hands caressed her back and stroked her hair while pulling her closer to him, and he finally tasted the sweetness of her lips and enjoyed the warmth of her body and the feeling of her hands memorizing his face…

This was real happiness.

This was the right choice.

Far away from them, a pair of black eyes stared at them for the longest of times. Finally, the reddish wolf turned around and walked away.

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**YAY:D**

**Sorry it was short. But there wasn't much I could do there. It was mainly, you know... -snogsnog-**

**With Love,**

**Me :3**


	15. Welcome Back

**And after the long hiatus, I'm back to writing, if you're not too angry at me. Thank God for cold, poetic sunny afternoons walking home from school that help me inspire to write.**

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The sun's first morn_ing rays made their way through the thick layer of frozen glass on the window, and the room was illuminated with a soft, grayish-orange tone._

'_Look,' she said, rolling over beneath the sheets and pointing at the sky. 'The sun. It's out again.'_

_He turned his head towards it and frowned. 'It's been months,' he whispered. She placed a hand over his bare chest and snuggled closer to him. 'It must be a miracle, then,' she smiled, but he turned his face to her again and shook his head slowly._

'_No, I don't think so.'_

_His hand surrounded her waist and pulled her even closer; his lips softly pressed over hers and, joyful, she climbed on top of him and lay there, feeling his warmth. Breaking the kiss, she sighed and placed her arms around his head, letting her chin rest on his chest._

'_It's not a miracle,' he repeated, and a crooked smile appeared on his face. 'The universe has just realized that I made the right choice. And it's celebrating.'_

_And he leaned over and kissed her again, as they both drowned in their own love and happiness._

'Oh my God.'

Two distant figures stepped down from a snow-covered carriage and faced the vast cold garden and mansion before them.

'Oh my _God!_ It's them!'

The tiny figure flew down the stairs, her dark, purple dress fluttering around her feet like waves, and as she ran, she took hold of an arm that had just appeared from inside a room.

'Alice?' Carlisle asked, confused, as he hurried behind his daughter, leading him at incredible speed.

'It's them! It's them!' she shrieked happily as she tugged from her father's sleeve, 'Edward and Bella are back!'

'Edward?' a voice asked from inside another room on the first floor, and Rosalie walked out, a frown creasing her forehead, her blond hair falling behind her back and surrounding her exquisite face. She hurried to the nearest window and drew the curtains open. 'He's back?'

'Edward! Bella! _Edward!_' Alice called excitedly as she thrust the door open and started to run over the snow and towards her brother and best friend.

'Edward and Bella are back already?' Esme asked as she followed Rosalie out of the room, a smile spreading across her face slowly.

'Apparently, they are,' Carlisle answered, nodding. Rosalie just stared at the two – no, three now – figures approaching, silent. Carlisle glanced at her. 'Your fiancée is back, Rose.'

'Carlisle!' Edward called from outside, beaming.

'Edward, Bella, welcome back,' his father said, gesturing them inside the house. 'Come quickly, it is freezing outside.'

'Edward, love!' Esme exclaimed and gave a step forward to embrace her son. Alice was still holding Bella from her waist and not letting go, while constantly repeating, 'You're back! You're finally back!' as Bella laughed and stroked her friend's short, black hair.

'Bella, we missed you around,' Carlisle said, facing her as he closed the massive door. 'Alice was getting on our nerves, planning her wedding without you.'

'You are definitely the only thing that can keep her controlled and stop her from freaking out,' Esme added as she hugged her. Bella smiled and looked at the tiny young woman hanging from her dress.

'I'm here to help you now,' she said, and Alice squealed and planted a kiss on her cheek.

Meanwhile, Edward had turned to Rosalie. She simply stared at him for a moment, and, finally, smiled.

'It's good to have you back,' she said, crossing her hands over her lap. 'Your sister has been quite difficult. She needs you.'

Edward nodded.

'And our wedding is going alright too,' she added.

Suddenly, everything seemed to stop. The wind froze and the leaves stopped swaying. The birds stopped flapping their wings and the flowers stopped growing. The people inside the room stopped moving and all sound was suddenly silent. But nobody seemed to notice this except Edward. Slowly, he forced himself to nod once more.

'It's good to know,' he said. He stared at his fiancée and opened his mouth to talk, but his mother interrupted him by grabbing his arm and forcing him to go to the kitchen and drink a cup of steaming tea.

'Now, Bella, Edward, tell us!' she said as she led the two travelers, with Alice and Carlisle behind. Rosalie had followed the group with her eyes, and then walked back to the room where she had been, closing the door behind her.

'How's Henry?' Alice asked Bella, seating by her side in the table. Edward positioned himself on the girl's other side and looked at her.

'Oh, he's beautiful, Alice,' Bella answered, her eyes widening and her smile growing bigger. 'He's got some nice, black hairs on the top of his head – Ben's hair, definitely –'

'And he's got Angela's eyes,' Edward added, 'big and pale. Beautiful eyes. He doesn't know how to talk yet, but he learnt how to stand up – thanks to Bella, actually.'

The girl blushed deep red, and Alice eyed them suspiciously.

'Little Henry was just trying to learn how to stand up,' Edward continued, a smile spreading over his face, 'but he slipped whenever he tried to do so. And one day, Bella and Angela decided very foolishly to try and make him sleep in a bed – outside of his crib – to see how he would do. When Bella woke up in the middle of the night to go to – the bathroom, Little Henry obviously followed her, crawling on his hands and knees, and, attempting to stand up, got hold of Bella's night-robe – and pulled. He successfully stood up, and Bella successfully realized that her night-robe had been very badly sewn.'

'And how did you see this if she was in the bathroom?' Alice asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

'Tea, anyone?' Esme chimed in as she walked into the room with a tray in her hands, and handed a cup to each one sitting around the table.

'Where's Jasper?' Bella asked, gazing around the room. He had not said hi to them and there was no other sound in the house but the one of spoons tinkling cups as they stirred teas.

Carlisle put down his cup and stared intently at Bella.

'Bella, Jasper volunteered himself to take care of your father's funeral arrangements as soon as we heard the news.'

Bella's hand, still holding the spoon, stopped. Edward stiffened beside her, and Alice and Esme's smiles vanished. There was an awkward silence in the room for a moment, and then Esme leaned over the table to take hold of Bella's cold hand.

'We are really sorry for what happened, sweetheart,' she said, half-smiling, but her eyes had gone teary. 'When we heard, we just did not know what to do. So when Jasper volunteered to take care of him, we all decided that he should have the – the best funeral.'

'He was a very nice man,' Carlisle said, smiling, 'and we appreciated him.'

'Yes,' Bella whispered softly. Her eyes were fixed on her cup of tea, and the blood that had recently rushed to her face had been drawn out completely. 'Yes, he was a good man.'

Edward frowned, pained, and took Bella's hand. Feeling his touch, she glanced up at him. A quick, small smile from him gave her all the confidence she needed, and giving a long, deep sigh, she straightened in her chair and smiled at the family.

'At least he's happy now,' she said, her eyes brightening. 'He's with my Mother. They're together. Finally.'

Edward's grip tightened on her hand, and Alice stared tenderly at them both. But what she thought, she could not say.

'Bella, I have to show you my wedding dress,' she said happily, trying to lighten the mood – successfully. Bella's smile widened and she quickly stood up from her chair, Alice copying her, and they both walked up the stairs and into the small girl's room. A loud bang followed, and Edward smiled knowingly at his father.

'She's going to get Bella busy now,' he said, and Carlisle smiled.

'It has been madness here. Without Bella, Alice only had Esme to help her with the million things that a wedding requires. Rosalie was busy with your own, so she could not help her much. Things are going to get easier now.'

Edward's smile faded away. 'Yes. A lot easier.'

'So how is Ben?' Carlisle asked, going business-like. 'Did he accept?'

'Ben was in a very difficult position when I made the petition,' Edward answered with a frown, 'and I understand him, of course. He just had a baby. He has a family to protect. He accepted in the end, but making a great effort and sacrifice. If something bad happens, I do not think he will be able to live with himself.'

'And you, Edward?' said Esme, frowning slightly, 'How are you doing?'

'I'm alright, the weather got really cold during the journey, but after a while we got used to it –'

'You know what I mean.'

The young man looked up at his mother. She was smiling kindly at him, with a comprehensive look in her eyes. 'Edward, you're getting married. It is a very big step in a young man – and woman's – life. Everything is going to change from now on. You will have more duties, more things to attend to, your own property, your own family – I understand how stressed you must be feeling, darling. But it will be wonderful. Rosalie and you make a beautiful couple, and your children –'

'I'm fine, Esme.'

His sudden reply was so cold that the woman was taken aback for a minute, and, seeing his mistake, Edward sighed and smiled at her. 'Thank you for worrying about me. But I can cope with it. I'm fine.'

Somehow, lying to his own mother seemed the best thing to do this time.

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**You're in a nice little mess, aren't you?**

**Love Love,**

**Me :3**


	16. Hide Back Your Tears

**I'm freaking tired, so I'm just gonna upload this and arrange my LJ diary with a nice new header.**

**Lots of love to my reviewers :)**

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She looked up at the deteriorated, old, brick house. The door and its surroundings were completely covered by knee-length-thick snow, and the windows were cold and dusty, as if no one had lived there for years. No light came from inside the house; everything was dark and a haunting silence reigned. Slowly, she stretched her hand and pushed the door open. A thin layer of dirt covered the floor, and the little she could see in the darkness seemed to be ancient and unkempt.

_There was no life except for her.  
__She looked around, searching for an image, a memory, something that could help her make the good times resurface for at least one more time. But everything was dull and grey, everything had been drawn out of the colour and vividness that had once hold sway of the small house.  
__Wiping a tear off her cheek, she turned around, closed the door, and walked away to the crowded streets._

'Edward?'

The young man turned around to stare at the little woman standing by his bedroom door, her arms crossed over her chest and a frown creasing her forehead.

'Alice,' Edward smiled. 'Come in.'

She stepped inside, closed the door silently and sat on the couch beside his desk. 'So… You must be happy to be home again,' she said tentatively, and he nodded.

'It's nice to be around family and familiar surroundings.'

He cleared his throat and adjusted himself on the chair, turning to his papers once more. Alice pressed her lips together.

'But it sounds like you had a great time in Wilmington.'

'I must say it was definitely pleasant,' Edward told her as he started to scribble on a paper with his pen. 'I was away from all worries and was able to enjoy everything a little more.'

Alice nodded this time, and gazed at him. Neither of them spoke for a couple of minutes, until Edward stopped scribbling and froze all of a sudden.

'Alice?' he called, not turning his eyes from the papers, 'Do you… happen to know where Bella is right now?'

The girl's expression softened. 'She went to have a look at her house,' she whispered. 'We've told her to move in with us until she can find somewhere else to live, or at least until all the weddings are over. We will be needing one more hand in this, and she will be needing as much protection and love as possible.'

Her frown deepened, as she sat closer to her brother. 'Edward –'

'I hope everything gets better for her, then.'

'Edward, listen to me –'

'Alice,' the young man turned to face her and a frown of his own appeared as his bright, green eyes twinkled with an unfamiliar twinge of grief. 'I know how perceptive you are. I know what you think, and I know what you are going to say. Well, don't.'

'Edward, _please_,' Alice pleaded between gritted teeth, clutching to his right arm. 'Since you came back, you've been acting differently – I can _see_ how unhappy you are of coming back home, it's written all over your face. Asking about Bella and worrying about her and smiling in joy every time someone asks you about your journey – and how miserable you look when someone reminds you of your wedding.'

At this, Edward quickly looked away from her, gazing into space, his lips a straight, tense line.

'Edward, listen to me,' his sister continued, more slowly. 'Maybe not Carlisle, maybe not Esme, definitely not Rosalie – but _I_ do know what is going on.' She paused for a second, but no reaction came from him. 'So all I want to tell you – and I suggest you think about it – is that you have to do what your heart tells you to do. You do not love Rosalie – and I'm certain she does not _love_ you back. Nobody would be disappointed, Edward – go to _Bella_. _She_ is the one that needs you most at this moment, and you need her so much that I can bet your heart is screaming in pain. Please,' she whispered, resting her chin on his arm, 'do not go on with this. You will only hurt yourself more.'

He didn't reply, but freed his arm from her grip and stood up. He paced to the window and stared down at the vast, snow-covered garden before his eyes, with Alice's eyes fixed on his back.

'I'm sorry, Alice.'

Edward turned his face to her, and his green eyes were deep and dark – suffering.

'My heart may not belong to Rosalie, but I have my duties to obey. I am expected to get married to her, and form a family –'

'_Who_ expects you to _do that_, Edward?' Alice shouted desperately, leaning over the side of the couch.

'- and that is exactly what I am going to do. I cannot let down Carlisle or Esme – and especially not Rosalie. She is looking forward to this wedding as much as I am looking forward to finally rest in peace and be with the one I truly love. But as long as I live, I am going to do what a man of my age is required to do. I cannot just run away with a town maiden, no matter how much I love her –'

'So _everything_ comes down to the fact that she's not from _our class_?' asked Alice in a high-pitched voice, standing up all of a sudden.

'Alice, you know I am not like other people from 'our class' who criticize the poorer,' Edward said softly. 'Even if she were like us, I would not elope with her.'

'So what, you're leaving her to rot?' Alice said furiously, her hands on her hips. 'The woman you love?'

A flash of grief crossed Edward's expression. 'She will find someone else – someone who can take good care of her –'

'_She does not want someone else!_' shrieked the little woman, marching up to her brother and glaring up at him menacingly. 'And neither do you! You're only going ahead with this wedding because you're so _noble_ –'

'I'm doing what's right,' Edward said firmly, but Alice angrily pressed her finger on his chest.

'No! You are doing what is best _for the rest_ –'

'It certainly benefits them, but –'

'- and because you don't want a _public scandal_ –'

'My mind is not on that, I am only thinking of what is right for my father and Rosalie and Esme –'

'- you don't _care_ about what might happen to _Bella –_'

'_Alice!_'

The movement was so sudden that she was taken aback; abruptly, his hands had curled around her arms, holding her in place, and his expression was tortured, his eyes twinkling with what she thought were surfacing tears.

'Do _not_ –' he paused, biting and pressing his lips together, and the girl widened her eyes in realization – her brother was making the greatest effort not to cry.

'Do _not dare_ say that – don't, Alice. Do you think this is not affecting me? That my decision is not making me suffer? The thought that I am leaving aside my own happiness for the happiness of the rest tortures me every day since I made that decision – and her face – Bella's face – the look of grief on her eyes when she realized what I would do – it haunts me every minute of every day and night. I love her more than anyone could have ever possibly loved someone in this society of fake smiles and forged love – but I cannot place my joy before everything else. I have my duties – and I will obey them.'

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes as he released his sister. Slowly, he turned around and walked to the window again, resting his side on the window-sill. Alice blinked back her tears and followed him, placing a hand on his back and looking up at him from her short distance.

'Edward, no one is forcing you,' she said softly. 'Carlisle and Esme only want you to be happy. You know that.'

He opened his eyes and gazed at the cold, naked trees.

'I have made my decision, Alice.'

She frowned in pain and stared at him. Finally, after realising there was nothing else she could do, she nodded and walked to the door. But before closing it behind her, she turned to her brother once more.

'Edward?'

He turned his eyes to her. She pressed her lips together for a second, and then said, 'At least think about it.'

She closed the door and walked away. When her footsteps were finally too distant to be heard, Edward turned his eyes to the window again, and let only one single tear run down his cold cheek.

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**Yes, it's weird to see Edward crying. But, after all, he's only human, isn't he?**

**Review me **

**Much Love,**

**Me :3**


	17. Girl's Talk

**And so I realized how Bella and Alice were never seen close in intimacy.**

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'Alice, help me.'

The little woman turned around to face Bella, who was having the worst of troubles trying on her maid-of-honour dress. Giving an exasperated sigh, she marched to her side, untangled Bella, and buttoned her back. Alice grabbed her arm and turned her around so abruptly that the skirt of the dress flew around Bella making her look like a human bell for a few seconds; but when the cloth lay still around her legs, Alice smiled tenderly.

'It looks beautiful on you,' she told her friend, and Bella rolled her eyes.

'I'm not used to this kind of fancy dresses,' the brunette replied, checking herself on the mirror. 'And besides – only _you_ could make your wedding in dark colours.'

'They look absolutely fine, Bella. I am not going to stick with white maid-of-honour dresses just because society uses white maid-of-honour dresses. Furthermore, the _bride_ goes in white.'

'Yes, Alice,' Bella nodded, with a mocking smile, 'but _blue_?'

'Blue enhances your skin,' Alice said softly, stroking Bella's arm, 'while, if I chose peach, you would look… Not nice.'

'Did you ever think about pink?'

Alice frowned and stood erect, glaring at Bella with pride. 'Do _not_ insult me. Pink is perhaps the worst colour ever invented in the history of humans. Besides, it does _not_ match your skin _or_ your eyes.'

Bella simply shook her head and proceeded to check on her dress. It was quite simple – but, she had to admit, very pretty. Never in her life had she tried on such expensive dress; but then again, never in her life had she had enough money to buy one, or the need to do so. After all, what did you gain with a pretty dress? Gentlemen in the street to turn around and look at you? Stand out in a party? That was not the kind of thing expected from someone of Bella's class. She did not go to parties. She used common, self-sewed dresses. All that society expected from her was to get married and form a family. Only people like Alice and Rosalie could afford to look astonishing in their expensive clothes and be the center of attention everywhere they went – they were _supposed_ to.

'Bella, it looks amazing.'

The girl looked up at her best friend. 'Thanks, Alice.'

Alice frowned. 'No, I am trying to be serious. I know what you're thinking. This is not for you – is that it? You do not deserve this much? Why – because you do not live in a big house and go to high-class parties and balls and those kinds of things? Well, that's nonsense.'

Bella twitched her mouth, but did not say anything. Alice stared at her for a few seconds, and then sighed. 'Forget it, Bella. Just use it. It's splendid.'

'Can I take it off now?' Bella asked, placing her hands on her hips. 'You've looked at me, I'm nice, that's it. There is no reason why I should keep it on any longer.'

Alice shook her head and helped Bella out of the dress. 'Seriously, Bella, you're so strange sometimes. You've got the most beautiful dress ever and you are desperate to throw it into the trash. No wonder you're not yet married.'

Instantly, Bella flushed deep red and her eyes seemed to grow bigger, and, when she realized what she had just said, Alice bit her lip nervously.

'But _I_ am,' she continued hastily. 'In a few days, I'll be Mrs. Alice Hale. Isn't that _wonderful_?'

She gazed through the window with a silly smile, day dreaming, while Bella pressed her lips together, unable to say a word. Since she had got back, everyone seemed to be wanting to talk Bella into finding a husband and settling down, and suddenly it had become Esme's new favourite subject. Every time she started to talk about how pretty Bella was and how she would find a nice gentleman with no problems, Alice abruptly realized how pretty her mother's dress was and commented on the subject, or Edward would swiftly stand up, clear his throat, and announce he had an engagement to attend which he had completely forgotten.

Edward.

Bella quickly turned her eyes to the floor, trying to change her flow of thoughts to another current.

'… and I'll be a married woman,' Alice was saying.

'Life will definitely change for you,' Bella smiled. 'You'll have to deal with house chores – and children.'

Alice's mouth twitched. 'Yes, probably.'

'Have you and Jasper ever talked about it?' asked Bella as she sat down on the sofa, watching how Alice sat on her little stool in front of the mirror and combed her short, black hair.

'Not really,' the little woman answered with a frown. 'But I don't want it to be too soon. I want to… settle down first.'

Bella nodded. 'It will definitely be the best. You'll have to get used to your new life first.'

'The new house.'

'The new kitchen.'

'The new dresses.'

'The new bed.'

'The new make-up set.'

'_What_?'

Alice laughed at Bella's puzzled and amused expression. 'Well, _someone_ will definitely buy me new make-up as a wedding present! No woman can _ever_ live without new make-up once in a while!'

'I have lived without make-up all my life, Alice!'

Alice narrowed her eyes. 'But that's because you hate _being a woman_.'

'So now I hate that I am a woman because I don't like new dresses or make-up,' Bella nodded, the tip of her lips curling upwards. 'Reasonable.'

'But anyway,' Alice said, turning to the mirror again, 'I'd like to have children some time in my life. A beautiful girl.'

'So you can make her your new doll and finally have someone to torture with your eye-shadow besides myself?' Bella laughed, and Alice shrugged, smiling.

'It will be fun. You can make her dresses. You are a wonderful sewer.'

'I did little in my life besides sewing and cooking.'

'Just find out how good you are in bed, and then you'll be the perfect woman.'

Bella's cheeks became a puddle of blood. 'Alice!' she scolded her friend. 'Are we having a girl's talk now, or what? Would you like to teach me how babies are made too?'

Alice rolled her eyes. 'I won't go into the subject if you don't want to. But you know how much I love talking about it.'

'Yes, I know,' Bella said, nodding, her eyebrows raised.

'Bella… Can I ask you something?'

The young woman's eyes suddenly lost their brightness and her expression fell, and Alice regretted having asked the question – but even if she had avoided the subject previously, some things were essential for Bella's own well-being, as well as her brother's.

'Bella,' Alice proceeded cautiously, talking softly and turning to face Bella, who had dropped her gaze to the floor. 'Are you planning to get married some time?'

'Alice, it's too soon to think of marriage,' Bella said quickly, her voice low and emotionless.

'I am not talking about that, Bella. You can fool my mother with that smile of yours, even my father and Jasper, but you don't fool me – or Edward. I _know_ you are not fine.'

Bella did not answer. In a desperate attempt to make her talk, Alice stood up and marched to kneel in front of her, holding her hand. 'Bella, you are in love with someone who is getting married to someone else, and you are on of those persons who simply… give up. When you see there is nothing you can do about it, instead of facing it with your chin high, you mourn the rest of your life. Why don't you _fight_, Bella? Edward loves you and he is as unhappy as you are. Do you want to be miserable the rest of your life? Do something while you can, Bella! Don't just give _up _–'

'No, Alice!'

The little woman widened her eyes in surprise and sorrow. Bella had suddenly jumped from her seat, leaving the small figure still kneeling by the sofa. The brunette marched to the window and wheeled around to stare at Alice. Her eyes were sparkling with tears and her cheeks were bright red.

'You don't _understand_ – I – Edward is – I just _can't_, Alice! I am _not_ like you or Rosalie – I'm not like him! I don't belong here - and you still expect me to disrupt the peace and create conflict by marrying your brother? Me, a – a common, poor peasant –'

'_Poor peasant_? Bella, you're –'

'- I don't _deserve_ him, Alice – and he has got his duties to attend, there is Rosalie waiting for him and people expect him to get married to her – not to elope with some maid!'

'My brother deserved the best, and that's _you_, Bella!' Alice shouted, standing up in fury. 'He wants _you_, not Rosalie or any other high-class girl! What does money have to do with love?'

'No, Alice, I cannot – we are too different and we are expected to take completely different paths – I should have _never_ gone to Wilmington with him –'

'It was the best time of your life and you know it! And his, too! Do you know how unhappy he is, Bella? How he suffers in this society, just because our family is _wealthy_? The only thing that has ever motivated him to keep on living was the hope that something wonderful would happen to him, that somehow, he would find that happiness he has been always looking for! And that was _you_, Bella – you made him find that happiness he was longing! And now you will just – _give up_, not fight, and let him to drown in his sorrow?'

'He does not care about me anymore, Alice! He has to get married, and –'

'Don't you _dare_ say that! He cares about you more than he cares about Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle or me! He loves you with all his _might_ – is that so hard to see? Why do you torture yourself – why do you torture _him_ – with that kind of thinking? With that – that pose you take –'

'Alice, _stop!_'

The two girls glared at each other, trying to catch their breaths, their nostrils flaring.

'Alice,' Bella said softly, now the tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. 'I won't. I won't.'

Alice stared at her as the young woman was taken over by her grief and pressed her fist against her mouth to refrain from convulsing with sobs. She closed her eyes and turned away from the little woman, embracing herself with her free arm.

'Well,' Alice finally said, taking a step towards the door. 'You may be completely – 'different' as you put it, but you two have something in common.'

She opened the door and stepped outside, but turned to face Bella's back.

'You are two damn cowards.'

And she wheeled around and closed the door with a loud bang before marching down the corridor, filled with bitterness and despair that would, most surely, never go away.

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**But then I realized that there were bigger matters to attend than just talking about sex and boys for the whole hour and then just -gasp!- pillow fight!**

**There's a nice button here that says Review. If you press it, you get a free Edward-flavoured cookie!**

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	18. A Wedding To Forget

**The reason why it took me so long to write this chapter: THE LONGEST I'VE EVER WRITTEN IN MY LIFE. Besides the lack of inspiration, creativity, and free time.**

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f'Do you, Jasper Whitlock, take this woman, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do you apart?'

'I do.'

Bella gazed at Alice. She was unusually calm and quiet, but yet she glowed with such pride and happiness that she could not feel more moved by the moment. Alice looked at her furtively, and gave her a small smile, which Bella returned encouragingly.

And for the third time during the ceremony, she risked a glance at him.

'Do you, Mary Alice Cullen, take this man, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do you apart?'

'I do.'

Edward felt her eyes on him, but he did not flinch. From the corner of his eye he saw her return her gaze to the couple, and, relaxing, he stared at his sister.

'I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the –'

Before the priest had finished his words, Alice had quickly turned to Jasper, pulled him down to her, and kissed him full in the mouth. Relatives and friends of the families exchanged surprised and disapproving glances, but Edward clapped enthusiastically as if contradicting them, and soon they joined him. Now Alice's mask of patience had been torn apart and she was beaming from ear to ear as she descended the stairs by her husband's side, while Jasper still looked utterly bewildered by Alice's prompt 'kiss the bride.' Esme had been the first to stand on her feet, wiping away her tears, followed by Carlisle, and shouted at her daughter kind words of congratulations and blessings. Slowly, the hundreds of inhabitants of the church – high society demanded inviting everyone you knew, even if they were no more than strangers – exited.

Only Edward and Bella remained behind.

The young woman was standing in the same position she had been during the whole ceremony, holding a small bouquet of flowers which the bride had deliberately forgotten. She knew she wanted to be alone with him… But now that she was, she just wanted to run away.

He stared at her intently, but her brown eyes remained on the floor.

'Bella…'

He took a step forward, and for the shortest of moments her eyes darted to his in what seemed a glitter of hope; but Edward exhaled heavily in surrender after a second, and his deep, green eyes lost the already small spark they had.

'Alice must be expecting you,' he ended up saying, avoiding her gaze. It was not normal for him to act this way. In a normal situation, he would have talked to her and explained the situation – even though she evidently understood it, from what Alice had screamed at him a few days before – but now he found it difficult to look at her face directly, to confront that beautiful and innocent creature that he loved, and whom he was hurting beyond imaginable.

Bella nodded silently and slowly walked out of the church, her blue dress fluttering around her feet and shoulders like rippling waves, but the young man did not move. He followed her silhouette with his eyes until she could be seen no more, and then closed them. Alice was right. He loved her. Why try to please the rest, when his happiness – and the happiness of his beloved – was more important than anything else? Yes, it sounded egocentric, did it not? But still – Carlisle and Esme had always had his best interests at heart. If he told them what he truly wanted, they would not even be disappointed – knowing them, they'd be proud of him. Yes, it would be a disgrace for the Cullen name, but they would not care as long as he was happy.

He shook his head suddenly. No, he could not do that. They might not care about their name, but he did. He would not lead his own family, the family that had raised him with love and care, into humiliation. And what about Bella? Yes, she might be suffering now – but she had decided to move on, hadn't she? She had decided to leave him behind – and he could not move that decision, no matter how much he wanted to do so. And Rosalie? Yes, she did not love him, and he certainly did not love her. But she was looking at this wedding as an expecting mother waits for her child's birth. This marriage was everything for her.

But he had already dishonored them all. Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie, everyone that expected from him to become what he was expected to be. Expectations. Expectations. He had thrown them all into disgrace and yet nobody except for him – and Isabella – knew. But that was enough; the knowledge of what he had done was enough burden to carry for the rest of his life, if he chose the Path of Expectations.

Edward opened his eyes again, and raised his face to the big cross before him bearing the Saviour's body; without taking his eyes off of him, he kneeled, slowly, on the bench, and entwined his fingers.

'Forgive me, for I have sinned.'

The clouds looked as they had for already seven months – eternal, sinister, foredooming, and even though nobody could believe it, the freezing snow had grown another feet, making it difficult for people to walk and keep warmth. For this reason, the happy ceremony that Alice had once planned to make on the garden was now being enjoyed inside the house, with the hundreds of guests trying to find a little space around the big fireplace. The newlyweds hopped from one place to the other, trying to greet everyone they could and with a tail of women who had not yet been greeted following them around. Carlisle and Esme were in a healthy, enjoyable balance, every once in a while interrupting their conversations with other wealthy adults to dance an old song (they did not know that Alice had asked the orchestra to play specific songs she had discovered had been significant in her parents' engagement.) Rosalie, with her gigantic – and astonishing – peach dress was pleasantly chatting with her own high society friends about her forthcoming wedding and how wonderful her life was going to be when she got married to Edward. The rest of the girls giggled around her, making loud comments about how the young man was so handsome and how they wished they had been engaged to someone like him. Other young men passed around them, and the youngest, unengaged girls fluttered their eyelids at them, but, as always, they only had eyes for beautiful Rosalie. Small children ran around the place, trying to avoid bumping into the older men and women who looked at them with either contempt or tenderness, only to be later scolded by their mothers and ordered to behave as good, proper children. Indeed, everyone was having a great time – for the sole exception of young Isabella. Completely uncomfortable with her surroundings, not used to the lavishing parties of the so-called high society, she had wandered into a corner of the kitchen, a glass of wine held awkwardly in her hand, biting her lower lip and staring at the dancing couples and the small girls in pretty, white dresses. Alice had only been around her once, in a hurry, kissing her cheeks and beaming excitedly only to tell her to help herself to anything she liked and that she was so happy that she had been her maid of honour and that she loved her and that she had to go to someplace Bella could not identify in the rush of words. For the whole hour that had passed since she had arrived at the crammed celebration, she had been alone except for that tiny exchange of words with Alice, and the idea of slipping into her bedroom unnoticed grew more and more appealing as time went by. But she could not afford free time to think – to think about that short encounter in the church… He had said her name – even taken a step forward as if to walk towards her… What had he wanted to say? Why had he suddenly decided to stop ignoring her presence?

She closed her eyes tightly. She had to stop thinking about it – about _him_. And going to the silence and calmness of her room would not help.

'Good morning,' a voice behind her said, and Bella opened her eyes in a hurry and wheeled around. A young man with blonde hair and a childish face was smiling at her. 'I was only wandering what a sweet girl like you could be doing alone and in a corner of the room. Trying to hide, I suppose?'

Bella's mouth twitched uncomfortably. 'You could say so; I'm not used to these kind of celebrations.'

'That would explain why I cannot recognize you,' the young man said, grinning. 'I know almost everyone here, and – believe me – if I had seen you before I would remember. Are you an outsider?'

She hesitated before answering. 'Something like that.'

'I'm Michael Newton, then,' he said, grabbing her hand and kissing it. '_Sir_ Michael Newton.'

'Bella,' the girl said, ignoring the chills that went down her spine when Michael's lips touched her hand. Instinctively she compared it to Edward's touch, his fingers tracing her arm slowly, softly…

'Are you alright?' Michael said, raising an eyebrow. 'You look rather pale.'

'No, that's just me,' Bella lied. 'My mother used to tell me I looked like a porcelain doll.' She smiled to herself, remembering her own beautiful doll which her father had given her for her fifth birthday; it had been the most expensive gift she had ever received and she had taken great care of it, so much that she still had it, safe under lock and key.

'Forgive me, but a porcelain doll cannot be compared to your beauty.'

Bella's mouth tensed. 'I can't remember Alice ever mentioning you,' she said quickly, changing the subject.

'That is because I never had a good relationship with her,' Michael said, shrugging. 'I have seen her in various parties before, but I never talked to her.'

'Oh,' Bella nodded, refraining herself from asking, 'Then why are you here?'

'But she is a nice person,' he continued. 'And Jasper is… a good man. Very formal. My parents know Carlisle Cullen, and Mr and Mrs Hale – whose daughter is engaged to the Cullen's youngest son, am I wrong?'

Bella swallowed. 'No,' she murmured. 'You're correct.'

'Miss Hale is certainly a very beautiful young woman,' Michael muttered, looking around him and, obviously, searching with his eyes for Miss Rosalie Hale. 'My fiancée is one of her best friends,' he explained, turning back to Bella, 'so I get to see a good deal of her. Anyway, Miss Bella – my fiancée has abandoned me for some other gentleman. She must be around drinking wine with someone else, I am inclined to think, so I am alone here. Would you like to go for a stroll?'

Never in her life had she wanted to run away so much like in that moment.

'I'm sorry, Sir Newton,' Bella apologized, faking an expression of regret, 'but I do have to make this small favour for Mrs Whitlock.'

'It was nice talking to you,' the young man said, 'and I really hope I have the chance to meet you again.'

Bella smiled at him, made a small bow, and walked away as fast as she could, making her way through the sea of people and regretting more than ever not having escaped to her room when she had the chance.

Edward went inside the house slowly, searching for his sister with his eyes, but was instantly overwhelmed by the hundreds of guests trying to squeeze here and there, trying to stay a good distance away from the dancers and trying to start conversation with the ones talking by the fireplace.

'Edward, dear,' he heard his mother call him, and felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and Esme smiled at him. 'You're late. You should have seen your sister's face when she realized you were not here for the opening dance.'

'I'll stay away from her, then,' he smiled.

'Where were you?' his mother asked, frowning in concern.

Edward's small smile vanished. 'I was at the church, confessing.'

Esme nodded, even more worried than before. 'Edward, do try to enjoy yourself today. It's your sister's wedding, and if you show that you are not in a cheerful mood it will seriously disappoint her and perhaps ruin her day. You know how touchy she has been these last days. Nervous for no apparent reason! She took the wedding calmly, so it wasn't that… Maybe there's something she's hiding.'

'Perhaps she's expecting,' Edward smiled, trying to drive Esme away from the subject.

'Don't be silly, Edward, I know my daughter,' she smiled. 'Well, Edward, go find her and apologize while I find your father.'

She kissed his cheek swiftly, and disappeared between an old couple and a young girl that had been staring at him for a while. Trying to escape her hungry eyes, Edward turned away from her and made towards the hall, supposing Alice would be there; but she was not amongst the dancing couples or the giggling girls or the chatting adults. A woman and her husband were demonstrating great dancing skills in the exact middle of the room, and several couples had even stopped dancing to watch, while many guests had gathered closer to watch them in awe and applaud loudly. He stayed, gazing, as the woman turned quickly on one feet while her palm pressed against her partner's – and then a flutter of blue at the other end of the hall called his attention.

'Bella,' he whispered to himself, and hurried to the spot where he had seen the seams of her dress disappear; but in her place was a young man, gazing, rather puzzled, at the distance. Edward sighed in defeat and turned away. He thought – what could he say to her, anyway?

'I love you, Isabella, but I do not know what to do about it'?

'_Edward Anthony Cullen!_'

With a wince, the young man turned around to see a furious Mrs Alice Whitlock glaring and marching menacingly towards him.

'I want you to tell me _right now_ where you have been!' Alice shouted, but the intensity of her words was drowned by the too loud noises of the orchestra, the chattering, and the clinking of glasses and plates. 'When you should have been with me! _Dancing!_'

'Alice, I am terribly sorry, and I apologize,' Edward said softly, trying to placate her, but she merely shook her head in exasperation.

'Forget it, Edward,' she said rudely. 'Carlisle made a great move pushing the Taylor boy forwards while I was standing stupidly staring at the crowd searching for you.'

Edward rolled his eyes. 'Sorry, Alice, I got held up in church. I'll make it up to you soon. Ask anything you want and you'll have it.' He smiled.

'You know what I want,' she replied dryly, and Edward's smile faded away. 'Anyway,' Alice continued quickly, 'I did not come here only to scream at you. Emmett is looking for you.'

'Emmett?' Edward repeated, frowning. 'Emmett is here?'

'Apparently, he got held up for church and the party because his train got delayed or something like that,' Alice explained, 'but I told you he was coming, remember? In any case, he's questioned practically everyone here about you, so you can imagine how desperate he is to see you.'

'I'll find him. Thank you, Mrs Whitlock,' Edward smiled at her. She grimaced, but finally smiled and gave him a small nudge on the ribs before darting off to find her husband.

The young man did not have to search long to find his brother; Emmett Cullen was having a conversation with Carlisle by the largest window that gave to the immense backyard. He beamed widely when he saw his younger brother, and hastened to give him a warm bear hug.

'I'm so glad to see you, boy,' Emmett said, unable to stop smiling. 'It's awful to be so far away from the family. You've grown!'

'You can leave aside the big-brother comments,' Edward smiled. 'I haven't seen you in years.'

'When I left you were still an immature brat.'

'Edward was never an immature brat!' Esme chimed in, appearing from behind Carlisle. 'He was the most mature of you all, I dare say – and the best behaved.'

Emmett rolled his eyes. 'Yes, let's all praise perfect little Ed.'

'Edward,' Edward corrected sternly, but then smiled. 'Are you going to tell us about London or not?'

'I have already heard his stories,' Carlisle said, 'and he's been having the time of his life there.'

'I must say, London definitely has very pretty women,' Emmett nodded, gazing at the ceiling dreamily.

'Emmett!' Esme scolded him, and he shrugged, chuckling. 'You talk a lot about pretty women, and yet look at yourself! Still unmarried!'

'I'm young for marriage,' Emmett explained simply. 'When you get married, that's it. The end of your life. All that remains is your wife, the children, hot soup in winter, and elegant parties. And work.'

'What about me?' Carlisle asked, indignant. 'Emmett, you, your mother, Alice and Edward are the best thing that have ever happened to me.'

'So if you won't get married for – say – a couple of years…' Edward left the sentence opened for Emmett to finish.

'I'm joining the army,' he said proudly, and Esme nearly choked with her wine.

'The _army_?' she asked, frowning and thrusting the glass of wine to her husband. 'Emmett, no.'

'Emmett, if war breaks out – specially in these times –' Edward tried to warn him, but Emmett rolled his eyes.

'Relax, Ed,' he said, smiling brightly. 'If war breaks out, I'll be fighting for my country and my nation.'

Edward, Esme and Carlisle stared at him for a few seconds, until the oldest sighed heavily. 'Okay, Emmett. If that is what you want to do, although I do not like it, I'm going to support you in everything I can.'

'_What?_' Esme exclaimed, turning around to stare at her husband.

'The army is not a joke, Emmett,' Edward said, 'remember that. So if you're joining just because you want to _live life_ –'

'I'm joining because I want to fight for my people.'

They stared at each other.

'Then I agree with Carlisle,' the youngest finally said, and Emmett beamed. Esme's hands were trembling, but her husband grabbed them between his, leaving the glass of wine in a passing tray, and smiled comfortingly at her.

'So, can anyone tell me what's happened since I'm gone?' Emmett asked.

'Your sister has married Jasper Whitlock –'

'Very funny. It's not my fault I'm late.'

'- and your brother is getting married to Rosalie Hale in about three weeks.'

'Rosalie Hale?' Emmett turned to him frowning. '_The_ Rosalie Hale?'

'I don't know why you look so surprised, dear,' Esme said, half-smiling. 'Rose and Edward have been engaged since they're kids.'

'But I was _sure_ Alice would talk you out of it in time!' Emmett exclaimed, surprised. Edward raised his eyebrows.

'Why is that?'

'Ever since Alice and Rosalie met, Rosalie has only cared about herself and her beauty and Alice has hated her. I don't think five years can make a difference in that.'

'Alice does _not_ hate Rosalie,' Esme replied, frowning. 'They are good friends.'

'Yes, sure,' Emmett scoffed. 'I haven't seen Rosalie around. Where is she?'

'Oh, strolling around with her friends,' Esme answered. 'You won't even recognize her, she is even prettier than she was when you left.'

Emmett ignored her comment. 'What else has happened?'

'Edward was in a little trip to Wilmington with Miss Isabella Swan,' Carlisle said gently.

'Isabella Swan? Oh, Bella,' Emmett nodded. 'She's still around? Still as close to Alice as before?'

'In case you have not noticed, she was the maid of honour, Emmett,' Esme smiled. 'So yes, she is still around. Her father just died, poor thing, so she's living with us until she can find a place of her own. She's very pretty, so some gentleman will come for her soon enough.'

Edward turned his eyes to the grey sky and said nothing.

'So you went _alone_ with her to Wilmington?' Emmett asked, half-laughing, his eyes wide. 'Why, that is not proper behaviour for a gentleman. No chaperone?'

'She does not have one,' Edward said dryly.

'You bad _boy_,' Emmett laughed, but Esme frowned.

'Your brother is getting married, Emmett!' she scolded him, but the man merely shrugged.

'I'm just joking, Mother,' he said. 'I only find surprising good Edward's lack of decorum.'

'I asked Rosalie to accompany us, but she refused,' Edward explained silently. 'I did not insist.'

'Of course you didn't,' Emmett muttered under his breath.

'Ah, Bella!' Carlisle exclaimed. Edward spun around to see Bella staring at them wide-eyed, apparently caught while trying to slip away through the crowd. She immediately smiled and approached slowly, avoiding Edward's gaze.

'Bella, this is Emmett; you remember him, I suppose?' Esme presented him kindly.

'How can I forget the boy that 'accidentally' pushed me on the surface of the frozen lake?' she smiled, raising an eyebrow, and Emmett chuckled.

'I kind of forgot that,' he apologized, grinning. 'I seriously did not believe you when you said you did not know how to skate.'

'Which cost her a broken leg,' Esme said sternly.

'Yeah, well - so you're back from London?' Bella asked politely, blushing. 'I've never been out of the country.'

'It's wonderful,' Emmett answered, 'but it's always cloudy.'

'Oh, the irony!' Carlisle laughed, looking up at the eternally covered sky.

'Enjoying yourself, Bella?' Esme asked her. 'Made any friends yet? Any gentleman?'

Edward stared at her.

'I met Sir Michael… Something,' she said, blushing, feeling Edward's eyes on her. 'But I'm not here looking for gentlemen, Mrs Cullen, I'm celebrating Alice's wedding.'

'Indeed,' Esme beamed, 'but I'll be waiting for _your_ wedding invitation.'

Bella smiled, but only Edward could sense the tension of her lips.

'Hey, Edward,' Emmett called, gazing dreamily at a point behind him, his mouth half-opened. 'Is that Rosalie?'

Bella and Edward both turned around at the same time, and certainly, Rosalie was walking up to them, her eyes searching for Edward, her golden hair framing her delicate face.

'Edward,' she said, squeezing her immense, beautiful dress between her fiancée and Bella. 'I've been looking for you. I cannot _stand_ Jessica babbling about how handsome you are. Oh,' she exclaimed when she finally noticed Emmett, standing utterly stunned by her exquisiteness. 'You are…?' she asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

'Emmett, Emmett,' he hurried to say, bending forward to kiss her hand. 'I'm Edward's oldest brother. You know, the one in London?'

Rosalie smiled at him. 'Yes, I remember you. How was your stay?'

'Well, nice seeing you, Emmett,' Bella muttered, pleased to have an excuse to leave.

'Nice seeing you, Bella,' he replied, nodding at her before returning his attention to the woman before him. 'It was interesting, you know, England is a very beautiful country, it has absolutely stunning landscapes,' he said, suddenly with a more mature tone of voice that the rest could not help noticing. But Edward did not care; he followed Bella with his eyes for a second as she walked away, and then, decided, followed her. She made her way through the crowd, unaware of the young man close behind her, and reached the door of her room on the second floor before entering. She did not notice that Edward had entered the room only a few seconds later, closing the door silently, until she turned around to throw herself on her bed.

'Oh,' she exclaimed, surprised, and then sighed. 'You scared me, Edward.'

He stared at her in silence. Even in the darkness of the room, he could see her eyes twinkle with a twinge of pain and sadness, and her forehead crease in worry. And still, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her pale skin was enhanced by the blue of her dress (had Alice chosen this colour in foreshadowing?) and it fluttered around her feet and shoulders delicately, accompanying the grace of her movements. He was invaded by the most powerful love he had ever felt, and suddenly his mind went blank. There was nothing he could say to her.

'So I heard Alice has been giving you a hard time,' Bella said, trying to break the tension with a very forged – and lame – smile.

Edward nodded. 'You can say so.'

They stared at each other in the darkness, neither of them knowing what to say. Bella sunk in his beauty, his deep green eyes, his bronze, untidy hair, his perfect features, the serene mask that covered his pain. How much everything had changed, in the matter of a few weeks.

She wished she was in Wilmington again.

'What are you thinking?' Bella asked quietly, suddenly invaded by curiosity.

'I'm trying to remind myself of the several reasons why I should not give in to temptation,' Edward replied, staring straight into her chocolate eyes, and she blushed in the darkness. 'Bella, you _do_ understand, do you not? Why I cannot be with you?'

Bella swallowed and nodded once. 'Yes. It's your family.'

'And Rosalie, of course,' Edward muttered, 'and my future. But that is the less important issue right now.'

She pressed her lips together.

'You're beautiful, Bella. You truly are.' He was frowning in grief now, his eyes sparkling like emeralds. 'Another man will come soon. Someone who can make you really happy and give you the life you deserve.'

'Don't _say_ that,' Bella whispered furiously, tears springing in her eyes, and marched towards him with angry steps. 'No one can make me happy but _you_. There _will_ be no one coming for me because I don't want anyone else.'

'Don't be stubborn, Bella. The heart heals with time.'

'Mine does not,' she snapped. 'So you can give me all the reasons you want for leaving me – I _understand_. But don't you tell me that someone else will _'give me the life I deserve,'_ because without you, I _have_ no life.'

Edward's expression was now beyond pain; he looked desperate, disappointed, regretful – and, beyond all, in love. 'Bella, you're being ridiculous. You won't suffer long. You'll forget me with time.'

Bella looked about to answer, and she opened her mouth angrily; but suddenly, she stopped and frowned at Edward.

'Will… you… forget _me_ – with time?' she asked slowly, her voice barely audible.

Edward stared at her. Of course he would not. He _could_ not, no matter how much he wanted to. But admitting it would be contradicting what he was trying to make Bella understand. She would not see that they were two different cases – he was madly in love, but Bella _was_ going to forget him in time.

He did not know he was wrong.

'Most probably,' Edward lied, hoping she would believe him. 'As I said, the heart heals, Bella. You can heal, too. Move on with your life.'

The pain in Bella's big, brown eyes made it clear that she had indeed believed him. Edward stared away from her, gazing at the wall behind her. Her pain would heal in time. His lie would have a good consequence in the long run.

Bella nodded slowly, her eyes lost in space. 'So…' her voice was lifeless, a whisper. 'So… you don't… _really_… love me… do you?'

She waited for his answer, but Edward's insides were in chaos. He could not lie to her with this. He could not; it would feel like a betrayal. He opened his mouth to answer the painful truth, ready to tell her that he loved her, that he really loved her – and then lie again and tell her he would forget – when the door suddenly burst open. Edward spun around wildly and Bella's expression of grief turned into one of horror when she saw none other than Miss Jessica Stanley standing at the doorway, clearly dumbstruck by the fact that the room was not empty as she had supposed. Behind her, an uncomfortable Sir Newton gaped at the brunette girl inside the room.

'Oh,' Jessica exclaimed, staring at the surprised couple with a mixture of shock and amusement. 'Sorry.'

'Hello, Miss Bella,' Sir Newton greeted awkwardly. He hurried to close the door, and Edward and Bella were left in darkness once again. The young man turned to Bella to give the answer she had been expecting before they were interrupted, but Bella was now walking away from him, towards the door.

'Bella?' he asked, confused.

'It's okay, Edward,' she answered calmly. 'I knew you were just too good to be true. After all, people like you never fall for people like me.'

She left the room silently, and Edward was now alone, choking back tears from the only truthful answer he had not been allowed to say.

'Oh, yes, my brother can take things too seriously some times,' Emmett laughed, watching Rosalie's beautiful smile widening in her face. He had a glass of wine in his hand, and on its dark red liquor's surfaces, ripples gently swam from Emmett's hand, trembling from enthusiasm.

Esme and Carlisle had abandoned them a long while ago, and together they had strolled around the house chatting pleasantly. They were now standing before the biggest window in the house, extending from the floor to a few feet above their heads, watching the snow slowly falling over the naked, frozen trees, and the eternally grey sky.

'It is good he is serious on some occasions,' Rosalie said, caressing a strand of her long blond hair with one hand. 'But at other times it is _so_ annoying.'

'You need someone who can make you laugh – like me!' Emmett grinned at her and she laughed, shaking her head.

'You and Edward are _so_ different, I would have never thought you were brothers if I had not known.'

'It's good that we're so different, in fact,' he said. 'When I lose my head over something, he keeps me calm and helps me think things through logically. When he is too worried about something – practically always – I make him forget it for a while.'

'My brother is too calm too,' Rosalie rolled her eyes, 'as am I. So you can imagine the peace that reigned in our house while we lived there together.'

'You _seriously_ need some fun in your life,' Emmett shook his head. 'Your pretty face is going to get all wrinkled.'

Rosalie's smile disappeared for a moment, but then returned. 'You will have to be around, then,' she said softly, trying to convince herself that wrinkles would not appear until she was much older.

'How will your married life be with Edward if I'm not around?'

'Probably a bore.'

'I'll have to go to your honeymoon, then. Nobody wants you two committing suicide due to an overdoses of monotonousness.'

'It doesn't sound so bad,' Rosalie frowned and smiled mockingly. 'What would the papers say?'

'_Young Newlyweds Bored To Death_?' Emmett suggested, and Rosalie laughed out loud.

'Yes, most probably,' she nodded, 'you'll definitely have to be around, then.'

Emmett's grin spread wider. 'You can call me whenever you want, madam.'

'I will,' Rosalie said slowly. 'It was really nice seeing you again, Mr. Emmett.'

'The pleasure was all mine, miss,' Emmett replied, bowing exaggeratedly.

Rosalie turned around and, as she left, turned her head – making her long blond hair fly around – and flashed him a beautiful, seductive smile, which left the eldest Cullen son standing beside the window with a stupid smile etched upon his face, staring at the back of the young woman as if enchanted.

The blonde, meanwhile, searched for her friends. Now, for the first part during the whole party, she did not care that every man spun around immediately to watch her pass by. Before she had had her 'little' chat with Edward's brother, she had been attentive to how many men turned to smile at her and offer her a drink, and flirting with the most attractive was the best sport for her. After all, she was not _extremely beautiful_; she was _gifted_. God had given her the most wonderful gift – beauty. And if it was a gift indeed, then why not use it accordingly?

But she could not take Emmett's face from her mind now; his hollow cheeks, his curly black hair, his sparkling, happy eyes. Suddenly, she found flirting with anyone else horrendous.

'Rose, over here!' she heard someone shout, and turned her gaze to her left. Jessica was making desperate gestures at her, signalling her to come closer to the group of girls gathered. Sighing, Rosalie approached, holding the enormous peach skirt of her dress in her hands and walking with the pride of a queen.

'Tell us everything!' Jessica said clapping her hands together in excitement.

'About what exactly?' Rosalie asked with a frown.

'Oh, _please_!' Jessica exclaimed impatiently, rolling her eyes.

'Jessie means to say that we want to know who that handsome young man was,' Kate said calmly.

'The one you were just talking to,' Lauren added.

'Emmett Cullen, right?' Jessica winked at Rosalie and laughed. The blonde pressed her lips together and her eyes became icy cold.

'He is Edward's brother, that is all,' she said slowly and frigidly.

'Yes, but you two were getting _quite_ warm with each other, weren't you?' teased Jessica, and soon she regretted it, because Rosalie's frosty stare suddenly turned to vivid fire.

'Mr. Emmett has just returned from London and was telling me about the place,' she said between gritted teeth threateningly, 'which I thought was respectful, being him my _fiancé's_ _brother_.'

'Well, I definitely fancy Mr. Yorkie,' Kate said quickly, changing the subject, as Rosalie continued to pierce Jessica with her deep blue eyes.

'Maybe you'll get lucky this time, Katie!' a brunette girl Rosalie did not know exclaimed.

'Yes, just pass by, wait until he notices you, and then flirt with him until you end up in an empty room,' Lauren said mockingly. Kate blushed deep red and lowered her gaze, muttering embarrassedly.

'But make sure it really _is_ empty this time!' Jessica giggled, and everybody except Rosalie laughed.

'Why do you say that?' the blond girl asked, frowning. All the girls fell silent suddenly and avoided Rosalie's gaze. 'Jessica?'

'Um… I kind of was trying to – find a room with Michael… You know how this place makes me feel – too many people for my taste, so I start to feel a little dizzy, so he just took me to a room to make me feel better, you know, fresh air, no chattering –'

'To the point,' Rosalie said curtly.

'The point… is that when Michael and I open a door, we sort of – found – Edward – and that – that maid – looks like they were talking but, frankly, they were too close, and –'

But without waiting for her to finish, Rosalie spun around immediately and disappeared in the crowd. All the girls turned to glare at Jessica.

'What?' she asked innocently. 'What did I do?'

Bella watched the door of her room intently from behind the gigantic, white column. She had walked out of the room approximately half an hour ago, and Edward had not come out yet, which made her impossible for her to get back in and finally be in peace. As a group of girls walked past her, Bella tried to hide as much as she could of her dress behind the column, but one of the girls turned – only to glare at her and then continue her walk. She did not want to be seen by anyone, even if it was practically impossible, but at least, she wanted to hide from the Cullens, Hales, and Sir Newton – and especially from Edward.

She had been right thinking that Wilmington had only been a dream, something that was too good to be true – after all, how could Edward, a beautiful, handsome young man from the high society fall in love with someone liker her? She was just a poor peasant invading his house, in the end. And thinking that a rich man – even if the 'rich' part was not important for her – would fall for her and marry her and give her a happily ever after was a luxury she could not afford. While in Wilmington, she somehow knew it would not last long. They lived in two different worlds.

Bella's room door opened, and she pressed herself tighter to the column. Edward came out, walking slowly, his face a mask of grief; but in a second his features had been rearranged to his normal, serious attitude so quickly that the girl thought the pain she had seen in his eyes just before had been an illusion. Closing the door behind him, Edward sighed, gazed at the floor for a moment, and then walked away, probably not knowing where to go. Bella's back relaxed and she exhaled again in relief; making sure nobody noticed her, she swiftly crossed the corridor and stepped inside her dark room, her feet guiding her directly towards her bed. Edward's fragrance was all over the room, making her dizzy, but she tried to ignore it. After a while, she decided it was impossible.

Lying there on her bed, eyes gazing at the ceiling, she considered all the probabilities she had ahead of her.

The first thing that crossed her mind was to run away. Say goodbye to the Cullens, find some little job somewhere, gain some money, and start over. A clean break from Edward. An abrupt departure from this mansion would confuse him, definitely, as well as the rest; Esme and Alice would probably insist on her staying. But was her will strong enough? Did she have the courage to just leave all her problems behind, escape from them? Besides, she could not leave Alice this way. It would kill her, Bella disappearing while she was enjoying her honeymoon.

Second option, kill herself. Maybe that was a bit overdramatic.

Third option, go to Wilmington. But she discarded that option immediately; it would kill her slowly from the inside, having so many happy memories around her – she would only go there to live haunted by the ghosts she was trying so desperately to escape from.

There was only one thing that seemed the most reasonable.

Stay.

Help Esme to add the finishing touches and arrangements for Edward and Rosalie's wedding, wait for Alice to come back and help her order her things to depart towards her own house. Wait for Edward and Rosalie to leave, and then she would be alone in the Cullen's house. Maybe some man would come to look for her, as Esme assured. But Bella knew just too well that she would never find a man she could love as she loved Edward - there would never be a man that could make her forget him. Until the moment she was alone, however, she would have to live alongside his pain, her pain, the pain of two lovers separated because of life's whims.

Well, she would have to face it. She would not show anyone how sad she was. She would not roam the place like a senseless zombie, awaiting death. If she wanted to survive this coming period of her life, she would have to –

'Hello, Bella.'

Caught unawares, the girl jumped from her bed abruptly, scared to death, but then the surprise evaporated to be replaced by tension and cautiousness.

Rosalie had opened and closed the door of the room so quietly she hadn't even noticed. Even in the dim light she could see her perfect features: the blond curls hanging beside her face, her blue eyes penetrating deep into Bella, and her exquisite smile – a smile that send chills down Bella's spine.

Why was she suddenly so afraid of Rosalie?

Oh, right.

She had slept with her fiancée.

'Hello, Rosalie,' Bella greeted with a small smile, her mouth dry.

'I wonder, with such a fun celebration going on outside, why would you be locked up in the dark?' Rosalie shrugged, a puzzled expression in her features.

'I was just trying to clear my head,' Bella tried to say as smoothly as she could. 'I was coming right out.'

Rosalie nodded. 'I love your dress. Blue makes such a beautiful contrast with your skin.'

'Um, thanks. I love your dress too. You're just… stunning.'

'I know,' Rosalie smiled. 'Alice really knows how to make you beautiful. I guess she wanted all men to pay attention to you tonight, don't you think?'

Bella shrugged.

'You definitely caught Sir Newton's attention.'

Rosalie had stepped closer, gazing at the room with sudden interest.

'Sir Newton is not my type,' Bella simply said.

The blonde suddenly stared at her and laughed. '_Nobody_ here is your type, Bella.'

Her voice had gone cold, and her eyes seemed even more penetrating than before; they seemed to burn a hole in Bella's blushed face.

'So, are you enjoying the party?' Rosalie asked, tilting her head sideward so that her long, yellow hair would fall attractively over her right arm, her hands behind her back.

'Oh, yes,' Bella answered, trying to sound truthful, but she doubted it.

Rosalie froze in place.

'And are you enjoying my fiancée?'

Bella's heart seemed to stop for the longest of seconds.

'W-what?' she stuttered, realizing that, on the contrary to what was normal in her, all the blood in her face had been washed away.

'I said, are you enjoying my Edward?' Rosalie repeated, her eyes alert.

'I – I don't know what you mean, Rosalie,' Bella said quickly, but the break of her voice gave her away, and the blonde shook her head.

'You are a terrible liar, Bella,' Rosalie said slowly.

The brunette stood still, out of words, her heart racing like the wings of a hummingbird.

'I wonder what you two did together in Wilmington,' Rose continued, starting to pace around the room, her eyes purposely avoiding Bella's. 'I suppose, from what they told me they saw you doing in this room with him just some minutes before, that you slept with him. Am I wrong?'

'I don't know what you've been told, Rosalie, but we were just talking,' Bella said, trying to sound truthful – but then again, it _was_ the truth, she thought. They _had_ been just talking.

'Of course you were, Bella,' Rosalie nodded, stopping to stare at her. 'But that still does not answer my question.'

Bella stared back for a moment, and then, in a very weak voice, said, 'I didn't sleep with your fiancée.'

The blonde narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the girl for what seemed an eternity. Finally, she sighed and approached her cautiously.

'You know, Bella,' she said softly, 'what is that I want the most in this world?'

Bella pressed her lips together.

'A family,' Rosalie answered her own question, looking up at Bella with her blue eyes filled with sorrow. 'I want a family, Bella. I want a loving husband and a baby for my own. And I am _this_ close to getting everything I've ever wanted. I'm not going to lie to you, or to myself – I don't love Edward. In fact, he annoys me most of the time. But he can be the perfect husband, and he's as beautiful as I am, so imagine our babies – the most beautiful creatures in this world. And now you come along, Bella, a poor peasant from the streets, with no fortune whatsoever and no place where to live – and pretend to take my future away from me. Understand me, Bella. You don't belong here, with us. You were not made for this kind of parties and way of life. You belong down this road, in the middle of the town, with the other villagers.'

Bella's eyes blinked back tears of rage and sadness, but she did not flinch.

'What I'm trying to say, Bella,' Rosalie continued, frowning in sadness, 'is that you should go home. Go where you belong. I want Edward and I want my perfect future. You have placed yourself between me, and that which I've always wanted. By enchanting Edward with your looks – and you're not even as pretty as I am, I'm sorry, but it's true – you have meddled with his mind as well, and I will _never_ allow him to run away into the sunset with _you_. Leave this house, Bella. Leave this town if you like that better. Make up some excuse. My family will understand.'

'I am _not_ leaving, Rosalie,' Bella said harshly. 'And I am _not_ trying to steal Edward away from you. He chose you, not me. Are you not content with that?'

Rosalie shook her head. 'No, Bella. I'm not. I would have to live in fear that every time he is with me, he thinks of you. I would fear that every time he's not around me, he's talking to you – and I will not tolerate that. I want my future to be _completely_ mine.'

'I'm sorry, Rosalie,' said Bella determinedly. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

'If you don't, I will tell,' Rosalie threatened, but her voice sounded heavy with sadness. 'I don't want to do it, Bella, really. But if you don't leave, I will tell that you had an affair with my fiancée. Make something up about it, to make it look like Edward was completely innocent of this. They will believe me. After all, I am Rosalie Hale.' She smiled. 'You're just Isabella Swan, the daughter of no one. This would ruin Edward, Bella, and you know it. It would ruin the Cullen name. And that is certainly something you don't want. So think about it.'

By now, the tears in Bella's eyes had come rolling down like small, narrow rivers, and her hands had clenched into shaking fists. Rosalie turned and opened the door to leave, but before closing the door, she stared into Bella's chocolate eyes.

'It's not personal, Bella,' she whispered. 'Please understand me. It's the dream of my life I'm protecting.'

And she closed the door.

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**Yes, she _had_ slept with him!**


	19. She's Saying Goodbye

**Sorry for the long time. But I'm getting bored of this fic. Incentive me with some reviews?**

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_Dear Mother and Father,_

_I'm leaving the Cullen's place. I don't know where to go. Wilmington seems my only choice now, even if it will bring me the hardest of memories to cope with. I don't hate Rosalie for this. Everything is my fault for being so stupid. Edward is not for me. I don't know what I was thinking. So this is goodbye to him and the rest. I'll miss them. And I miss you two too. Hope at least _you_ are happy, wherever you are, reunited at last._

_Much love,  
__Bella._

The morning was cold – as usual. The never-fading grey of the sky dimmed the colors of the small town of Forks, making it seem even duller than it already was. The inhabitants were starting to wake up, grabbing three pairs of socks, four shirts and two jackets each to prepare themselves for the icy weather expecting them on the other side of the door. The chimneys did not need to be lit up; they already were from the night before. Nobody bothered to put them out anymore.

The condition of the Cullen mansion was similar. The gigantic chimney had been spitting flames since the beginning of the celebration the day before, since Rosalie had complained loudly when Esme had tried to put it out.

'It's _dangerous_ to leave the fire burning during the night, honey,' Esme had said, but Rosalie had continued to protest until the poor mother had had to give in.

Now, the blonde was curled up in her own bed, shivering, with the blankets covering her up to her closed, blue eyes. Esme was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for the everyone. Carlisle dressed himself in his room, getting prepared for a meeting with an old friend of his downtown. Edward was staring out of his window and into the immense, snow-covered front yard with a deep frown in his face, sitting at his piano chair. As Jasper was away in his honeymoon with Alice, Emmett had been given his room, and was therefore sprawled in his bed, snoring loudly.

Esme spotted her first.

'Bella?' she called when she saw a flutter of grey-white fabric from the corner of her eye. 'Sweetie? Breakfast will be ready in a minute! Could you tell everyone, please?'

When she received no answer, Esme dropped the plates on the kitchen counter and walked to the hall, frowning. 'Bella? Are you there?'

But she was alone. There was no one in the hall. And when she checked, she realized there was no one in Bella's room either. And, hurrying to the window, she finally saw her, a cloaked figure in a white dress grayed by the time, carrying a heavy bag and starting to descend the steps of the outside staircase silently.

Rushing to open the door, Esme called out, 'Bella? Where are you going?'

The girl turned around, surprised at being caught. 'I have to go, Esme,' she said with an apologetic smile on her face. 'I'm sorry.'

'Why should you go?' Esme laughed in disbelief.

'I – I can't really stay here anymore,' Bella mumbled, avoiding Esme's warm eyes. 'I should find a place of my own. Stop bothering around here,' she smiled.

'But you can stay with us meanwhile,' said Esme, shrugging and smiling at her. 'And besides, Rosie's wedding will be needing an extra hand with Alice gone.'

'I really should visit my cousin too, Esme,' Bella lied, trying to find a way around this lovingly kind woman. 'I got a letter from Ben. She's caught some sickness, and they'll be needing help with Little Henry until she gets well. While we're at it, I can find myself a home there. I like the place.'

This was not a complete lie; although Angela was not really sick, Bella had considered finding herself a small cottage in the area. As far away from Edward as possible. But in unison with the happy memories.

'Bella,' Esme said her name reprovingly.

'I'm sorry, Esme, I really am, but I must aid her and make a new start for myself,' said Bella.

Esme sighed. 'You're going so far away from us… You weren't even planning to say goodbye.'

'I didn't want to make a scene,' Bella grimaced. This was completely honest. 'Can you tell them, please, Esme? Tell them I said goodbye?'

The woman's eyes were sparkling with tears by now. 'We'll miss you, Bella. Alice and Edward specially. He would have liked to say goodbye to you personally…' her voice trailed off. She gave a small shake with her head, closing her eyes, and then nodded. 'Yes, I'll tell them.'

Bella smiled. 'Thank you so much, Esme. I'll miss you.'

'I'll miss you too, honey,' smiled Esme opening her arms to hug her tightly against her. 'You're like a daughter to me, sweetie, indeed you are. This is so… unexpected. You can come visit us whenever you want.'

'I definitely will,' Bella said. 'Tell Alice I love her and I that I owe her a new make-up set.'

Esme laughed. 'I will. Goodbye, sweetheart. Send my regards to your Angela.'

Bella nodded and turned from her, grabbing once again her old bag and heading for the snow-covered yard.

Edward was the next who saw her.

Absorbed in his own thoughts, the image of a cloaked figure crossing his park did not sink in until it had reached the front gates. He narrowed his eyes and stared at it struggle with the locks of the gates. The image was a girl. A brunette girl. A brunette girl with an old white dress. A brunette girl named Bella and carrying all her belongings in a bag. Bella leaving.

'Oh, for the love of all that's holy,' he whispered under his breath, his eyes now widened in horror and desperation. Had he ever run as fast as he did at that exact next moment? Because two seconds later, he was standing beside his mother at his porch, staring horrified at the girl in the distance. 'Where is she going?' he asked Esme in a rush.

'To Wilmington,' Esme sniffed, covering her shoulders with her own cloak. 'Angela is sick and she's going. And she's staying.'

'_Staying?_' he repeated.

'Yes, she'll find a nice cott-'

But again Edward was flying across the front yard calling Bella's name, Bella, Bella, Bella. She only stopped her struggling with the locks the first time; then she ignored him, her jaw set, her lips pressed, and her eyes wet.

'Bella, what do you _think_ you're doing?' he panted as soon as he was by her side.

She didn't look at him. 'Angela's sick. I've got to –'

'I'm not stupid, Bella,' Edward said with a frown, still panting. 'You're running away from me.'

'Of course _not_,' Bella half-lied. 'I need to take care of my cousin.'

'Then why aren't you returning?' the young man challenged her.

'I have to gain my independence,' Bella answered simply, raising her eyebrows and trying to hide her face behind a strand of hair that had fallen from her bun. 'Not everything has to be about you.'

Edward's eyes were pained. 'I want you to stay.'

'Edward –' she swallowed hard at the name – 'Ben needs my help taking care of-'

'Okay, okay,' he said quickly. 'Then, I want you to come back.'

Bella closed her eyes. 'I'm sorry, Edward.'

'I know you are. That's _exactly_ why you should come back.'

The locks finally gave away to Bella's apparently useless tugging, and she opened the large gates widely, stepping outside the Cullen's grounds.

'Bella,' Edward whispered with grief. 'Please.'

Tears finally rolled down Bella's cheeks, but she wiped them away quickly with the back of her hand. 'I don't know why you make such a scandal, Edward,' she said. 'After all, _you_ can forget me.'

Edward froze, and, taking advantage of the effect her words had had on him – even though she believed them – Bella walked away from him, alongside the street, her bag in one hand, the other clutching to her cloak desperately to keep warmth. She was broken. As was Edward. But neither made it known.

Edward's previous shouts had alerted everyone in the mansion. Now Esme was accompanied by Carlisle, watching the scene and thinking deeply at the same time, and Emmett, who covered a yawn with his hand and frowned at the destroyed brother of his in the distance. Rosalie watched from her room's window, her bed sheets cloaked around her majestic body.

'What's up with him?' Emmett asked sleepily. Nobody answered him. Only Esme's sobbing could be heard besides Edward's calls. 'Ah,' he finally smiled. 'So… I wasn't wrong, was I?' He gave a short laugh, and Esme glared at him.

'About what?' Carlisle asked, still deep in thought, gazing at nowhere.

Emmett's smile widened into a grin. 'That something _did_ happen between Edward and Bella while they were away.'

'Emmett!' Esme scolded him.

But inside she knew he was completely right.

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**Next chapter coming up soon - promise. I want to finish this as quick as I can so I can go on with my next parody of Breaking Dawn.**

**Review, darlings! I know you read it. I can see you.**

**Love,**

**Me :3**


	20. Welcome Back!

**I had this chapter done already, that's why it was so quick - tehee :)**

**Thank you all for the lovely comments. They really made up my day, since I'm passing through a horrible moment in my life. Okay, teenage exaggeration there. A horrible _teenage_ moment in my life. So thanks to all of you! You rock!**

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'Where – the hell – _is she?_'

'Alice! Your language!'

'I don't give a –' Alice stopped abruptly. She breathed in slowly, exhaled, and continued to speak calmly. 'I apologize, Mom. Now, could I be informed of the actual residence of Miss Isabella Swan?'

'She left so abruptly,' Esme frowned in sadness, 'said she didn't want to bother us anymore. She's on her way to Wilmington.'

Alice narrowed her eyes and glared at Edward, who was now greeting Jasper just like the rest of the family. It wasn't hard to imagine the real reason why she was gone. However, Edward's ever-twinkling green eyes were now a bit duller, and his manners were dry. He seemed someone had sucked the life out of him.

'Well,' she finally said to Esme, 'I'll miss her.'

'Alice,' Edward approached her with a half-smile on his face. 'Long time no see.'

'Sure,' Alice rolled her eyes and hugged him tightly. Although she wanted to shout at him for bringing all of this on himself, seeing the pain and unhappiness drawn in his face made her reconsider. After all, he was suffering, too.

'Welcome back, Alice,' a beautiful voice said behind Edward, and immediately Rosalie appeared. She hugged Alice the briefest of moments, and then turned her attention to Esme.

'So, _bro_, how's your honeymoon?' Emmet nudged Jasper and winked an eye at him. 'Placed the stick in the goal?'

'_Emmett!_' Esme scolded him loudly. 'Don't make me ground you!'

Emmett roared with laughter. 'Sure, mom.'

'Jealous you're still unmarried?' Jasper mocked him, but Emmett shrugged.

'I'm in no hurry.'

'You should be, Emmett,' Esme said, walking towards the kitchen. 'Does anyone want a cup of tea?'

'I'd love to,' Alice sighed. 'The cold outside is unbearable.'

'We were on our back from New Orleans and as you went North, the colder it got,' Jasper said. 'This is crazy.'

'So how _was_ New Orleans?' Rosalie asked them as they all sat on the table.

'Beautiful,' Alice replied. 'We had lots of fun.'

'A nice break from that stress you've all been suffering from,' Carlisle nodded.

'_Stress?_' Emmett laughed.

'Well, _you_ didn't have to prepare a whole wedding and plan everything absolutely perfect!' Alice snapped. 'Of course you won't be feeling stressed!'

'Plus the war,' Carlisle added.

Emmett snorted.

'This isn't a game, Emmett,' Jasper told him seriously. 'It might sound fun at first, joining the army. But it _isn't_. Only when it is too late you realize what you're really doing. What you really signed up for.'

'I'll bet you won't be laughing like this when the first sounds of the shotguns tremble in the air,' Carlisle said.

'Give me a break,' Emmett said, rolling his eyes.

'The enemy won't give you a break,' Alice said, the corners of her mouth twitching. 'When the first man dies at your feet, his eyes blank, you will regret having ever joined the army.'

'And when the first bullet pierces your arm, you will see that is all the fun you'll get there,' Jasper added.

'Okay, enough, you two,' Esme scolded them as she entered with a tray on her hands, but you could read in her face that she was scared to death.

'Don't worry, Ma,' Emmett said, sprawling on his chair and yawning widely. 'He's just jealous of my freedom.'

'Freedom?' Jasper smiled. 'Is freedom getting into bed all by yourself, completely alone, with no one to hug you and comfort you and give you warmth after an awful day?'

'Freedom!' Emmett repeated triumphantly. 'Marriage binds you to a woman, makes it impossible for you to do whatever you want to do.'

'_Binds_ you?' Jasper almost laughed.

'That term is absolutely inaccurate,' Carlisle said, smiling. 'If you love said woman, marriage is nothing but a blessing.'

'But of course, sir Emmett is too much of a rebel to be bound by love, isn't he?' Alice grinned.

'Pish posh,' he muttered, smirking.

'Oh, Rose, have you told Alice yet?' Esme suddenly jumped, staring at the blonde.

'Tell…? Oh, right,' Rosalie said, a smile dawning on her exquisite face. 'Alice… I have chosen you to be the flower girl at my wedding.'

Alice blinked.

Esme beamed.

'The flower girl?' Alice repeated, raising an eyebrow.

'Isn't it wonderful, honey?'

'Yes, you would be perfect for that,' Rosalie smiled.

Edward snorted on the other side of the table, and, surprised that he had emitted a sound, everybody turned to him. He widened his eyes. 'What?'

'Please, Alice,' Rosalie turned to the small girl pleadingly. 'Would you do this for me?'

_No._ 'Yes, sure, Rose,' Alice said, '_but_ – let me help you plan your wedding.'

'I'm sorry, Alice, I've already got everything planned.'

Alice's face fell, and she glanced at Edward. She was the groom's sister, and she only got to be the _flower girl_? This was going too low.

_But anyway_, a voice inside her said, _your brother won't enjoy this wedding at all. Why bother?_

'Fine, Rose,' Alice said. 'I'll be your flower girl.'

'Come, Alice, we'll show you the dress,' Esme said excitedly, and took Alice by the hand, leading her away from the room with Rosalie trailing behind.

'So, how is this wedding business going?' Jasper asked, turning to Edward.

'Rosalie's taking care of it,' he simply answered, gazing at the floor before him.

'Oh, the '_whatever she wants_' business,' Emmett laughed. 'She's an absolute princess. She deserves her way anyway.'

'Ready to take the big step?' Jasper asked.

Edward stared at him. 'Yes, sure.'

'This is what everyone has been waiting for,' Carlisle said. 'The youngest Cullen man is taking a wife.'

'The _only_ Cullen man,' Jasper corrected him.

'An astonishing wife,' Emmett nodded, ignoring Jasper's comment.

'Don't worry, Edward,' Carlisle said to him. 'Everything is going to be alright for both of you.'

'_Unless your heart is wandering somewhere else…_' Emmett whispered so low that only Edward, sitting beside him, was able to hear.

'You know, Emmett, I'm repressing my desire to hit you.'

'You're getting the lottery, brother! Rosalie Hale – the most beautiful woman that has ever set foot on the planet. And yet look at your face. Looks like they've sentenced you to death or something.'

Edward did not answer; he was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would make the wrong comment.

'You never got married, Emmett,' Carlisle addressed him, 'you don't know how it feels. The weeks before I got married to your mother, I was in hysteria. I shouted at everyone who got near me. I spent a week locked up in my room.'

'Why?' Jasper asked him.

'I was afraid I was doing the wrong thing,' Carlisle simply answered. Edward's head shot up, and he stared at him.

'Afraid -?' he started, but was interrupted by the women's entrance in the hall once again.

'It's _lovely_, isn't it, Alice?' Esme was saying, her smile wide. Rosalie had a small smile playing in her lips.

'Lovely,' Alice replied. Her lips, on the other side, were stretched into a tense line.

'Rosalie, you're going to look absolutely stunning,' Esme said to the blonde seriously, and then smiled again.

'But I'm sure no one is doubting _that_!' Emmett exclaimed, feigning indignation. Rosalie smiled at him as she sat down on her seat again, and Jasper snorted.

'Of course not,' Esme said in an isn't-it-obvious tone.

'So are you going to move to the new house immediately, Jasper?' Carlisle turned to his son-in-law.

'Yes, Alice and I already sent some of the bags there by –'

'Edward?'

Everybody's heads turned to Alice, and then to the young man. His forehead was creased with a frown, his expression analyzing, calculating, his mind in a sudden internal debate –

'Edward, are you alright?' Alice asked him. He raised his green eyes to hers, and quickly rearranged his expression with a dry smile. 'I'm fine, thank you, Alice.' And, to everyone's surprise, he stood up. 'Will you excuse me? I have some unfinished business to do. Glad you're back, Alice, Jasper.'

With that, he left the rest of the family staring at each other, puzzled.

'I wonder what's wrong with him,' Jasper murmured.

'He's losing it,' Emmett explained with a shrug.

'He's nervous about the wedding, that is all,' Carlisle said, and Esme nodded in agreement.

Alice kept her thoughts to herself.

'Ah, well,' the eldest Cullen said, stretching in his chair. 'He doesn't know how to appreciate the wonderful gift he's receiving.' He stared purposely at Rosalie and winked. The young woman narrowed her eyes and smiled at him again.

Jasper glanced at his wife, and saw, reflected in her eyes, that Edward's thoughts were surely set on another woman other than astonishing Rosalie.

His heart still belonged to the girl with the big, deep, chocolate eyes.

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**Emmett, you _perv_.**

**Ooh, what does this green button do?**

**( _And this is where you click it! _)**


	21. The Unexpected

**I apologize beforehand because of the almost non-existant dialogue in this chapter. I myself hate this type of blablabla chapters in which time is frozen still and all you get is thoughts, descriptions, thoughts, thoughts. But it was a necessary chapter, since many of you were wondering what IS Edward actually thinking when he acts so emo.**

**And besides, because it contains the unexpected.**

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_Carlisle was afraid he was doing the wrong thing? But then, that means it ended up being the right thing. And look how happy he is. He does have the perfect life, a life anyone would envy – a lovely wife, two responsible sons – well, only one – and an incredible daughter who just got married to the love of her life. He has anything he needs. He's got love, admiration, and he doesn't regret having married my mother. It all leads up to one thing, then? Me, getting married to Rosalie? All the rivers lead to the same ocean… Will I have a happy life with her, just as Carlisle? Will I learn to love… and forget? Rosalie, Bella, Rosalie, Bella, Bella, Bella… _

_But there is this nagging question in the corner of my mind…_

_Why __was__ Carlisle afraid of doing the wrong thing?_

The ceremony was short and simple. To Edward, at least. Although Rosalie had chosen the most lavishing dress, the most expensive flowers, and had prepared the most amazing celebration, for Edward, everything was plain and dull. Maybe it was because he was trying to drown his head from all feeling, leaving him with a numb sensation in the whole of his body. And frankly, he did not care, or was hitherto impressed, of his luxurious surroundings. He did not even steal a glance at Rosalie, who looked simply astonishing in her long, white dress, with her chest bare, her exquisite collarbone and shoulders being too much a temptation for any other man, and her long, slender arms covered with the sleeves of her dress. He practically did not hear the question to which he replied, shortly and dryly, 'I do.' He just about felt nothing when Rosalie's perfect lips clashed against his in a clumsy kiss before turning around and facing the crowd of applauding strangers and family. Rosalie smiled at them contentedly; Edward did not. With a look in her face that expressed her feeling of, 'I don't want to be here but I'll smile for my brother's sake,' Alice walked gracefully before them as the newlyweds walked down the aisle to the outside, her hands spreading rose petals as she passed by. Edward saw Esme beam at him, and Carlisle nod with pleasure. Emmett was too busy gaping at Rosalie to even glance at him, and though everybody noticed this, nobody saw the blonde's little answering smile.

The day passed slowly, unnoticed. Once again, for Edward, at least. Rosalie carried him around the Hale's mansion, showing him off like a trophy she had earned after a long, hard battle. It was a relief that no one knew that the real battle had been short and quick for her. A few words from Rosalie Hale could get her whatever she wanted now.

They chatted with persons of wealth they did not know – well, Rosalie did most of the talking – and they danced the opening piece. And at last, he was off in a carriage with his flaming new wife, destination: anywhere. He had lost track of time and space by now, so absorbed in his thoughts as he was. And this is why, when he was inside a bed in an unfamiliar room beside Rosalie, he did not notice what was coming next until he felt Rosalie's hand on his chest.

'Edward?'

He turned his face from the ceiling and looked at her, realizing she was completely naked under the sheets. He had not even noticed her undressing herself and getting in beside him. Rosalie as she had come into the world – a view any man would kill for. And he had her there, exactly at his side, and the idea did not even appeal to him.

'Are you okay, Edward?' Rosalie whispered in his ear, snuggling closer to him and surrounding his torso with her arm. 'You look so tired. Well, who wouldn't. It was a tiring day, but beautiful in every sense. I'm glad it's over, at least. Are you?'

'Definitely,' Edward whispered back, closing his eyes. He could feel Rosalie's every curve against his skin – and instead of giving him pleasurable chills like Isabella Swan's once had, he just felt numb.

'Edward,' she whispered his name again, this time closer in his ear, her lips moving against his earlobe.

'Make love to me.'

Edward opened his eyes again, slowly, and saw Rosalie's face just above his. He had no time to deliberate – if he did, it was going to be more than obvious that for him, making love with Rosalie was an idea that repulsed him. Not because Rosalie was ugly in his eyes – he admitted it, Rosalie was beautiful. But to share this intimacy with someone else rather than Bella, than sweet Bella…

He had chosen this path. And he had to do everything this path commanded.

He pressed his lips against hers, and surrounded her slim figure with his strong arms, poising himself above her, kissing her face, caressing her smooth skin... And so, the consummation of their marriage was done. It was, at the same time, hell and heaven. Heaven, because imagined he was doing this with Bella, he imagined it was her body he was joining with his own, it was her who sighed his name again and again, they were together again, together doing the act of utmost love. Hell, because it wasn't Bella. He was just fooling himself. And every time he realized this, the caressing, the kissing, the sweetness stopped, and became monotonous, until he was able to let himself drift into fantasy again.

He woke up in the middle of the night, and remembered suddenly. He was in Vancouver, in a hotel which, now that he analyzed the room, must have been chosen by Rosalie because of its luxury. The woman lay beside him, fast asleep, angelic for anyone who was not already deeply in love. Softly, he got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom, which was just as beautiful as his bedroom. He leaned against the cool wall and sighed, glad he was not in physical contact with his wife. Would he have to do this for the rest of his life? He hoped not. The idea of visiting heaven again was tempting indeed… but he had a feeling that the next time, he would not be able to imagine Bella. It would just become a routine to perform before going to sleep every night.

He took his hand to the bridge of his nose, and a movement in the room caught his attention. A strange man looked up at him. Yet, even in the darkness that surrounded him, he seemed somewhat familiar… He got closer and realized Edward Cullen was staring back at him from inside the mirror. And he looked different from the Edward he remembered. His green eyes, once bright and sparkly, were now a dull, lifeless green. His forehead was creased by an everlasting frown, and the corners of his mouth twitched into an unhappy expression.

Overall, he looked haunted. He was. Haunted by the morals of his world, the inability to distinguish right from wrong and vice-versa, the loss of the only person he would ever love, the image of that person leaving him, going away, far away, most probably to escape from him, because he had hurt her, had he not, with his lies, his lies mixed with the truths, everything so mixed up that not even himself could make a difference between what was real and what was not, and it was his fault, his fault she had left, his fault she was now, probably, in another man's arms – was she? Had she found comfort in someone else? He would never know – he would never know if she got married, if she had an accident, if she had a baby, if she passed away. He was condemned to live, from the moment she stepped out of his domains, in ignorance, just imagining, fantasizing, his mind always living in the 'what ifs'…

He was taken over by sudden fury, fury at himself, at Rosalie, at Bella, at his family, at his friends, his society, his name – but the rage he felt for himself was beyond any of the rest. He clenched his right hand in a fist and before he knew what he was doing, he had hit the reflected Edward and he was falling in pieces to the sink.

A gasp came from the other room, and suddenly Rosalie was beside him, a gown thrown over her bare body, staring at him in surprise and concern.

'Edward, what is going on?' she demanded, her eyes dancing from the broken mirror to her husband.

Edward sighed and closed his eyes. 'Tripped over. I'm sorry I woke you up, Rose. Go to sleep, I'll pay for this first thing tomorrow morning.'

Rosalie didn't move. 'Your hand in bleeding,' she said quietly.

He grabbed the nearest towel he could find and pressed it against his injured hand. 'I'm fine. Thank you,' he smiled at her, and she seemed to relax.

'Come back to bed when you're done, dear,' she smiled back, but her smile fell quickly. She turned away and left, leaving Edward alone.

The young man picked up the broken pieces slowly, one by one. He grabbed a particularly large piece of mirror and stared at himself again, his expression darkening…

'I hate you.'

* * *

**I am _so_ sure you were all expecting to see Edward walking from the church to find Bella! Hahaha!**

**Green button, green button, green button...**

**Much Love,**

**Me :3**

**PS: This is the type of sex scene Breaking Dawn absolutely lacks. At least it's not a fade out!**


	22. Our First Kiss

**Yes, I apologize for being a horrible person and going on hiatus for so long.**

**And suddenly, last night, WHAM, inspiration struck me on the head. Depression and heart-aches really do help to get rid of writer's block!**

* * *

'Esme Cullen!'

The woman spun around in shock and found herself facing a minuscule glaring Alice, her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed to slits.

'You _better_ have an extremely good reason to be out of bed,' Alice said between gritted teeth as she stared at her mother. She was barefoot, with a blue shawl around her shoulders as her only protection from the freezing cold that attacked even inside their big, comfortable house.

'Good gracious, Alice, you scared me to death!' Esme sighed, relaxing a little but still smiling nervously at her daughter. One of her hands clutched her shawl over her chest, but the other one was trembling slightly.

'I didn't, but if you go walking around the house like that, you're going to _freeze_ to death!' Alice exclaimed, stomping towards her and clutching her mother's trembling hand. 'To bed again, _now_,' she said sharply as she gently pulled Esme to her room again. 'What were you doing out of bed anyway? You know you're too fragile to do such a thing.'

'I needed to move my legs,' Esme replied.

Alice rolled her eyes. 'Move them _inside_ the bed then!' she scolded, and then added in a mutter, 'So _stubborn_.'

Esme smiled warmly. 'I'm sorry, Alice,' she said as she sat down on her own bed again. 'I… I just wanted to talk to Edward.'

'I'll pass on a message, then,' Alice said as she rearranged the covers over Esme's legs and hips.

'Can you… tell him I'd like to speak with him?' Esme asked tentatively, but Alice's mouth became a tense line.

'He won't come out of his room,' she answered quietly while she moved around the room. 'He's working on something, apparently, but whenever I go see him he's just doing nothing at all. 'I'm busy,' he keeps saying. With _what_, only heaven knows.'

Esme raised her eyebrows. Alice stopped moving and stared back at her mother.

'I don't think I need to tell you what I'm thinking right now,' Esme said.

'Don't worry, I'm a good telepath,' Alice smirked, and then her face fell again. Esme patted the covers on a space by her side, and her daughter sat on the bed and clutched her mother's hand. 'I'm worried, Mom. Edward… he brought this on himself. He could have gone with Bella and he'd be so _happy_. Why did he ever have to take Rosalie as his wife? Oh, society this, society that, family name, blah blah blah! He's not even doing it because _he_ believes in those things!'

'Don't tell me,' Esme's smile was now sad and pained, 'Edward is doing this because he cares what his father and I might think.'

'I don't even know anymore,' Alice sighed. 'He's just being unhappy and it's so pointless. Bella loved him back, and he just went and married a dumb blonde who keeps flirting with her husband's brother –'

'Alice!'

'It's _true_! I can't stand the hypocrisy of it all. It's almost ironic!' Alice shrieked, turning her eyes to the sky, and then sprawling over the bed with her gaze fixed on the ceiling. 'But no, he won't listen to the voice of _reason_.'

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, both lost in contemplation, thinking hard. Then, Esme reached for her blue shawl and spread it before her over the bed. Alice turned and sat upright again, staring at the silky cloth. It was probably the most magnificent piece of clothing she had ever seen, and she knew her mother loved it dearly.

'Your grandmother gave me this,' Esme whispered, gazing at the shawl with adoration. 'It's a kind of tradition we had in our family for generations. I have no idea how long this has run in my family, because we are supposed to pass on something that we value more than anything else. Maybe it started with a pair of gloves, or a hat, until one of my great, great grandmothers got hold of this shawl.'

'It's absolutely beautiful,' Alice murmured, her hand caressing the cloth slowly.

They smiled at the shawl, almost as if this was their little secret, only meant for them to know, until Esme looked up into Alice's dark eyes with determination.

'Alice,' she said, her voice unwavering, 'Edward… He's not listening to the _proper_ voice of reason. He's not listening to what he _needs_ to listen. Alice, go to your father. Tell him that I want him to speak to Edward.'

'What about?' Alice asked, puzzled.

'Oh, no matter what Carlisle thinks is going on with Edward, I am positively sure he shall say _exactly_ the right thing,' Esme beamed.

Alice stared at her. 'Are you sure of this? The fever's not back, is it? Maybe you're suffering from some hallucination of some sort or something –'

'Alice! Go!' Esme hurried her daughter, and, shrugging, Alice plucked up her skirt and ran off from the room, leaving Esme alone, holding her glittering blue shawl.

* * *

The door opened so quietly that Edward did not even notice his father coming into his room until Carlisle called out his name.

'Yes?' Edward said, staring up at him from his place by the window. He was used to that spot by now. He didn't like moving around the room much, and preferred to sit and contemplate the snow-covered gardens of their house silently, thinking.

Carlisle closed the door behind him and took a seat beside his son, looking out of the window as he smiled. 'I must admit I'm not very fond of winter weather. Gray skies, naked trees, no birds chirping or anything of that sort. I particularly despise snow. It's wet, cold, and makes your toes go numb.'

Edward stared blankly back at his father. Whatever his mother had, he had gotten it too. Pretty bad.

'Don't look at me like I'm crazy!' Carlisle laughed. 'I'm just here to chat with you, and thought that the weather would be a nice ice-breaker. No pun intended.'

'Why is it everyone is suddenly so interested in chatting with me?' Edward muttered to himself, turning his green eyes to the window, but Carlisle heard him.

'Oh, son, it's reasonable for you to be acting this way,' he said gently. 'We're all worried about you. But we're worried because you're worried. And you _shouldn't_ be worried, at all.'

Edward didn't pay attention to his words.

'Edward, it's perfectly normal for every man to get like this before and _after _their wedding! It's part of every man's life at some point. You're free for so many years, and then suddenly, all these important decisions asking to be made, all these responsibilities thrown upon you like bombs – you get dizzy. You get scared. And you think that going after having gone ahead with the plan, everything settles down nicely around you. But it doesn't! Abruptly you have to make new kinds of choices that will affect your life forever – nobody likes those things, now do we?'

'No, we don't,' Edward answered distractedly.

'I had to go through it all. Jasper, too. And Emmett will as well, some day, if we're lucky. The answer to it all is, stay calmed. We men get so nervous with these things! Imagine the poor brides and newlywed-wives. Women endure it ten times worse. But they manage perfectly – well, sometimes. We just have to act calmed, and face these decisions to take them properly, not rush into choices we will later regret. Most importantly, listen to your heart. It will _always_ tell you the right thing to do.'

Edward didn't speak at all, and just kept staring at a couple of dogs out on the street, both curled around each other trying to keep warmth.

Carlisle, meanwhile, didn't seem to notice the lack of attention from his son. 'I know your life will turn out to be marvelous, Edward. Don't get all tense when you needn't be. Take me as an example! I was a _wrack_ when I got married to your mother, and look at me now! I have the most wonderful family, with the most lovely kids I could have asked for. Could I have imagined this while I was at the altar beside Esme? I was too much of a nervous wreck at the time to make sense of anything else. It wasn't easy, but I went through it anyway! I still can remember my father's face when I told him I was getting married to Esme one way or the other. The shock! Really, Edward, your experience is nothing compared to what I had to endure. 'You're not getting married to the baker's daughter!' he kept saying, 'You're not getting married to that low-class scum!' He even threatened with sending me away to London. I didn't give up the fight, not at all, and –'

'Wait.'

Edward had torn his eyes from the landscape and was gazing intently at his father. 'What was that? Esme and you weren't… arranged?'

Carlisle frowned. 'So I never told you this story, apparently,' he muttered, and then smiled gently again. 'I had a very hard time, trying to get married to your mother. I thought it was all so complicated. She was the daughter of the baker, _delicious_ bagels, they made, and she was widowed. Her husband had died from cholera, and she had been left all alone, with no children, no house, no anything. She had seen herself forced to come back to her birthplace to live with his father. And _that_ is when I met her,' Carlisle's eyes twinkled in the dim light, little stars dancing inside his irises as his smile widened. 'She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my entire life. I had been downtown accompanying my father to take care of some business of his, and I crossed her in the street. All dressed in black, she was, her gaze lowered to the floor. I had no idea who she was. I remember I stopped walking just to watch her cross the street and get away from me. Then she went inside the bakery, and I saw her no more. The next day I went to the bakery under some pretext, hoping she'd come into the place again, and – better yet – found out she actually owned the place along with her father. Oh, yes. I had been struck by love at first sight – and yet I knew my parents would never approve. They already had a beautiful fiancée for me – a wondrous girl, they told me, for I had never seen her yet – but I didn't want some wondrous girl. I wanted Esme.

'I visited the bakery for many weeks to follow. I fell in love not only with her beauty, but with her charm, her kindness, her grace. And the most joyous part of it all was that I finally learnt she loved me back. One particular rainy day, I acted like any gentleman would have, and accompanied her to her house under my umbrella. I wasn't about to leave her alone with such foul weather. But as my umbrella was far too small for both of us, I insisted that she kept it all the way to her house, and by the time we had arrived, I was soaked to my soul. She basically pulled me inside the house by force, and sat me before the fireplace as she placed a cloak around my body to keep me warmth. Just as her hands finished arranging the cloak, she turned to leave – but I grabbed her hand and held her back. She gave me one of those looks of her – the cheeky kind that I love so much, with the right corner of her lips curving upwards mockingly. And I stared back at those beautiful eyes of hers – and pulled her down to me. I tugged from her arm with just enough force so that she would have to lower her face. And then I kissed her. Our first kiss.

'I didn't have the courage to tell my parents. They would be furious. But I was so in love with Esme… Leaving her behind me would make me terribly unhappy the rest of my life. But I didn't want to marry some girl I hadn't even met. When I finally told them of my choice, she was present. My father was outraged, my mother fell into a tantrum, and the poor girl started crying her eyes out. But I had made up my mind. I got married to Esme after they ended up accepting my choice and giving us their blessing. We shared my fortune, and now… Now I'm perhaps the happiest man alive.'

Carlisle finished his story and gazed at his son tenderly. 'You see, Edward? You only have to follow your heart. You cannot pay attention to anything else in life. Love will _always_ make the right choices for you.'

Edward was staring at the opposite wall with his eyes opened wide, silently. He mulled over everything his father had just told him, and couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe how he hadn't seen it that way before. The very own Carlisle had gone against society rules and family names and even his family's opposition to follow the woman that had taken his heart.

And he had neglected the woman who had taken his own.

'Carlisle,' Edward said firmly, standing up from his chair. 'Dad. Thank you. Thank you, _so_ much.'

Carlisle looked up at him quizzically. 'Where are you going?'

Edward smiled. The first genuine smile his father – or anyone else for that matter – had seen for months, and it was a smile of true joy. 'I'm going to Wilmington.'

'Wilmington?' Carlisle asked. 'Why are you going to Wilmington? Are you taking Rosalie?'

'No, not at all,' Edward replied as he reached for the door. 'I'm going to find the woman I love and I'm going to bring her back no matter what it costs.'

Carlisle stared blankly at him for some minutes. '_Isabella_?' he asked. 'I – I suppose it's not – I mean – that was what this was all about?'

Edward stopped with the door wide open, and turned his bright smile at him. 'What else could it have been?'

'I – I thought you were worried about – about my future grandchildren!'

Carlisle turned a deep shade of red as he said this, but his face relaxed and managed a smile for his son as Edward laughed heartily. 'Don't worry dad – I'll give you grandchildren. Just not from the woman you expected.'

As Edward ran out from the room, Carlisle stared at the spot where his son had vanished. 'I don't know if _unexpected_,' he said to himself, 'but _surprising_ would be more the word.'

Then he grinned. 'Yes, I always knew there was something between those two.'

'_Edward?_' Alice called out as he dashed down the staircase, the smile still plastered in his face. 'What the _hell_?'

'Alice, tell my mother I'm leaving!' Edward shouted at her as he opened the front door of the house. 'I'll be back as soon as I can, I just have a short trip to Wilmington to make!'

'Oh my God, you _bastard_, you had to take five months for this?!' Alice shouted back at him, but she was grinning as she ran to Esme's room excitedly.

Edward bolted through the door and found himself staring straight into Rosalie's electric blue eyes gazing suspiciously at him, Emmett by her side, their arms intertwined.

'Rosalie, I'm – I'm sorry,' Edward said, his smile vanishing. 'But I cannot go on with this. I know I must be breaking your dreams – destroying everything you ever wanted. But you'll never be happy with a man who just… isn't in love with you. You _are_ beautiful. I just…'

'Prefer brunettes?' Emmett asked wickedly.

Edward glared at him, and then took Rosalie's hand. 'I'm truly sorry for this Rosalie. But I have to go. You'll find a man who will be more than willing to love you and care for you maybe even better than what I ever could. I really wish you the best of luck.'

And with those words, he was off, running across the snow-covered garden towards the front gates –

'_Edward Anthony Cullen_!'

Edward stopped so abruptly he stumbled, but managed to stay on his feet and turn around to see his mother yelling at him from her room's window.

'_Edward Cullen, you're not going love-hunting unless you are properly clothed! You'll freeze to death!_'

The young man smiled despite himself, and walked back to the house, as Esme went on shouting, '_You are going to take at least one proper cloak, young man! Where did you think you were going anyway? You were going to run to Wilmington? Take a horse, or the carriages! My God, children these days!_'

When Esme finally allowed Edward to leave, Alice approached her brother with a small package in her hands as he opened the gates to the house to fetch his horse.

'Edward,' she said quietly. 'This is from Esme. You _must_ give this to Bella.'

Edward took the package and hugged his sister tightly. 'I'll be back in no time, hopefully.'

'Remember to give it to her and no one else, Edward,' Alice reminded him as she uncurled her thin arms from around her brother's waist. 'It's a special gift for a special girl.'

Edward smiled at her and turned around to leave, but he could hear Alice mutter to herself as she walked back to the house, 'Blue doesn't suit me anyway.'

* * *

**Carlisle's story? Well, it has some real-life experiences I included that have happened to me this year.**

**That was _my_ first true love's kiss. Only without the fireplace.**

**Review, review, review!**

**Lots of love and apologies,**

**Me :3**


	23. You And Me, Me And You Us

**Sorry for the shortness. But I have to study, with my AS coming up and all.**

* * *

Edward felt a strange sense of déjà vu as he swiftly dismounted his horse and stared at the view before his eyes. The little, wooden cottage, with its chimney sending out puffs of white snow, still stood amongst the naked trees just as it had almost a year previously. The simple sight of it made Edward's heart beat faster, and he gave a step towards the familiar scene before stopping. After all, he didn't know what would happen now – how he would make things work. Should he knock the door and ask for Bella? Should he peer through the windows until someone saw him? Was it _so_ difficult for him to find the right way to gather once again with his beloved?

He was about to give another step towards Ben and Angela's house when the question was answered for him. The oak door suddenly swung wide, and out walked Isabella Swan, carrying a basket under her arm, dressed in a simple white dress, her auburn hair held messily in a bun over her head. She did not seem to notice Edward standing twenty feet away from her as she closed the door behind her, and tripped with her own feet as she turned towards the thick layer of snow over the frozen ground.

'_Shoot_,' Edward heard her mutter in an annoyed tone, and couldn't suppress a low chuckle. She was _there_. His Bella.

But Bella had heard the sound of Edward's laugh, and her eyes had found the place where he stood beside his horse. Her mouth opened slightly, and then closed again, speechless, but those chocolate eyes of hers remained opened wide.

Edward's own lips parted to greet her, but the words wouldn't come. What could he say to her after so many months of absence? After his harsh words during that wedding, long ago?

'You forgot this at my house,' he said, pointing at the package Alice had given him, and immediately felt like a complete idiot.

Bella shook her head. 'That's not mine.'

'Oh.' A complete, utter _idiot_. 'Esme sends it. You're sure it's not -?'

'Yes, I'm sure,' Bella replied dryly, never looking away from his face.

An awkward silence fell between them, and the only movement came from Edward's horse, who neighed softly and stomped his feet against the snow.

'Bella, I'm –' Edward started to say quickly, but Bella walked closer to him and shook her head.

'It's alright, Edward,' she said, but her voice indicated there was nothing going alright. 'I know what you came to say.'

Edward stared at her. 'You do?'

Bella nodded slowly. 'Yes, Edward. And I'm afraid I have to say no. There's no sense of right in what you've come to do. I don't want it. Take it back with you.'

'Bella,' Edward's expression became grievous as he searched for something in Bella's eyes, but her own expression was dry and cold. Her thin, pink lips, so used to smiling and stretching into a grin a long time before, were now taut in unhappiness, and she seemed to be carrying a heavy weight over her body. 'Bella, I think you should still listen to what I have to say.'

'No, Edward!' she exclaimed in a low voice, walking even closer to him, her gaze becoming sadder by the second. 'I don't need to. I know what's going on – and what you're doing is wrong. Do you think it will make me feel happier? Fulfilled? You're – you're just feeling sorry for me. I can't tolerate that. I'm perfectly well the way I am now –'

'Feel _sorry_ for you?' Edward blurted out, astonished. 'Bella, how could you _ever_ say such a thing -!'

'- and besides, you told me yourself, Edward,' she went on, ignoring his outburst, 'the heart heals with time.'

Edward snapped his mouth shut and stared at Bella. Of course. How couldn't he have expected this? She had moved on. She had gone on with her life, just as he had told her to, in a lame attempt to fool himself. Had he really thought she would still be grieving for him? That she would still love him? He was the only one whose heart could never forget now.

Bella's eyes had glazed with brimming tears, and her lips were pressed together. 'Edward… I would really appreciate it if you went back home.'

Home… With Rosalie? Was that home anymore?

Edward inhaled deeply. 'If… that's what you want,' he said solemnly.

Bella nodded her head quickly, lowering her face to stare at the snow underneath their feet.

Edward's heart had shrunk in pain and grief, but he didn't want his suffering to cause guilt in Bella's mind. He swallowed it all and fought with himself to accept his fate.

'At least keep this,' he whispered, handing her Esme's package.

Bella's white hand reached for it and held it against her lap. 'I'm sorry, Edward.'

'I'm sorry, too,' he replied as he turned his back to her and mounted his horse once again. He was leaving… back to where he had just escaped from in the search of happiness.

'Send my regards to Angela and Ben from me,' Edward said, adjusting himself and avoiding Bella's intent gaze.

'Send mine to your… family,' Bella whispered, choking on the last word. 'And, Edward?'

His deep, green eyes now locked with her own, and a sudden feeling of longing tore at his heart wildly, threatening with driving him crazy.

Bella made her best effort to smile at him. 'I really hope your life with Rosalie is making you happy.'

Edward's eyes widened. '_What_?' he asked, bewildered.

'What what?' Bella repeated with a frown.

'Bella… I think you're missing the point of my coming here,' Edward said to her.

'I am?' she asked, confusion settling on her expression.

'I thought you knew why I came here.'

'I thought I did, too,' Bella replied honestly. 'You mean… you're not here because of money?'

Edward blinked. '_Money_? Why would I be here because of _money_?'

Bella bit her lip. 'I thought… you came because you were feeling sorry for me. The homeless, orphan, unmarried girl without a penny for herself, and after that wedding… I thought you felt sorry for my being poor and alone.'

Now it was Bella's turn to be surprised as Edward laughed out loud and grinned at her. 'My God, Bella, you have such a creative, wild imagination. How could you ever even _think_ about something as stupid as that?'

Bella's lips turned slightly at the corners, and she said, 'So… you're not here to try and force a bag of gold into my hands?'

'You were thinking that was what I wanted to do this whole time?' Edward smiled. 'You were rejecting _money_?'

'What did _you_ think I was talking about?' Bella asked, serious again, a small frown creasing her forehead.

Edward's smile vanished as well. 'I thought you were rejecting _me_. Telling me… you didn't want me back. That you had moved on with your life, forgotten all about me.'

Bella's eyes widened in pain. 'How could _you_ think such a thing, Edward? Decades may go by, and my heart would never forget you.'

'My Bella,' Edward whispered, and hastily got down to the ground on his two feet and hurried to embrace the girl before him. She locked her arms around his neck and pressed her body against him, hiding her face under his chin, while Edward held her tightly, one hand buried in her hair, the other holding her tightly from the small on her back. And how sweet the reunion was, how sweet the feeling of belonging together once more – he had been more than delusional to think of any path leading away from his Bella as the right path!

'Wait,' Bella said suddenly, looking up at him and pushing against the hand on her back to step back. 'Why _did_ you come? What happened to Rosalie? Why did you -?'

'I left Rosalie,' Edward said, taking Bella's left hand softly. 'For all these months, I haven't been myself at all, Bella. Life just drifted by me, and I didn't even glance at it. I found that I cared about nothing, that I enjoyed nothing, without you by my side. I said terrible things to you, Bella, that have been eating away my mind with guilt. I thought that doing what I thought people expected of me was the right thing to do, Bella, but… I was wrong. The only right for me is right here with you.'

Bella only stared at him, tears running down her cheeks and her lips pressed together.

'I don't know if you can ever forgive me for my mistakes, Bella,' Edward whispered, 'because I never will. But I did not come back here only to apologize for the deeds I've done. The reason why I came is because I needed you to know that my love for you is as strong as it was the last time we were here in Wilmington, and it _never_ quivered or became feeble. For the past months, my heart has longed you day and night, aching in pain because the only way I can be at peace with myself is the one in which you know the truth. The whole truth. And the whole truth is, I love you. I love you, Bella, fervently, passionately, and with my entire being. I lost you once. I don't want to leave this place and lose you again just because you don't know how I feel.'

Bella's wet eyes turned to the floor, and Edward did the same. 'I can understand if you choose to go on like you were before I arrived today. As long as you're happy, Bella -'

'Don't be silly,' Bella finally said, looking up at him. 'The only way I can ever be happy is with you, you and me, me and you. I love you more than anything in this world, Edward, and just so you know, I lost _you_ once as well. I'm not letting you out of my sight a second time.'

Edward's mouth broke into a huge grin, and he whispered, 'Oh, my Bella.'

Without another word, he closed the distance between them with one quick step and embraced her, lifting her up in the air with joy as she laughed between her sobs and tears, and at last, at last, he kissed her.

A long time passed as they embraced and kissed, standing there in the snow, unaware of their surroundings, immersed in their own paradise. For how could he never know it before? The only right in life is where your heart is trying to lead you, and the only place where happiness can ever be found is with the one you love the most.

The clouds in the sky, so dense and obscure, the stormy clouds that had been haunting them for such a long time, seemed to start to crack as a sudden ray of sunlight passed through them. It shone over the loving couple and over that small, blissful patch of the world called Wilmington, and a wolf howled in the distance, as if welcoming it into the lives of everyone once again.

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**Thank you, thank you so much. You reviewers and readers made this story possible. I'm a bad person who didn't update for months in a row, but I never liked this story much anyway. Now that I'm finished, I am going to focus on something more Potter-y.**

**I started this story December 3rd, 2007. I'm finally done. It's not my favourite story, and it's not the kind of things I like to read, but I had to try my luck and write something like this. Face your fears and all. So thank you all for helping me face the fear with your awesome reviews :)**

**I love you all so very, very much, and hope you stay in tune with my future projects. (Like finishing A Breaking Dawn Story.)**

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**Me, Falling Twilight, Edwardlicious, or just Vickii :3**

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And for the record -

**Bella kept Esme's blue shawl, because everyone insisted it looked beautiful on her, and, after all, it was a gift.**

**Rosalie was disappointed by Edward's departure, but deep inside, she was kind of glad to be able to have Emmett all for herself without guilt in the end.**

**Emmett didn't go to the army due to Rosalie's definite I-won't-budge decision, but he still insisted in enrolling for the Navy.**

**Alice and Jasper happily moved out of the Cullen house after Esme recovered from her - psychologically-induced - sickness, and were more than happy to visit Edward and Bella as much as the need (Alice's need) required.**

**Edward and Bella never got married due to Edward's lack of intelligence to realize he needed Bella _before_ actually marrying Rosalie, but a few years later they did have a daughter named... Yes, you guessed. Renesmee.**

**They also built a small cottage of their own in Wilmington, over the hills, not far from Angela and Ben's place, and they rejoyced in their happiness together. The cottage was as beautiful as Bella could have ever imagined, due to Esme's planning, and was the perfect home for a fairytale.**

**A red-furred wolf is also making its presence known, every once in a while, by going past the cottage and staying for a few hours.**

**You know, just checking everything's alright.**


End file.
